Black Balloon
by BroodyBlondes4ever
Summary: It's senior year for the Tree Hill gang and at a time when they're supposed to be living life to the fullest with their closet friends, they've never been more torn apart...trying desperately to hold onto the strands of something that's no longer there.
1. I Promised You

**Flashback**

"Let me ask you something….are you not helping me move you because it brings back bad memories or because you're a lazy pile of crap."

"You mean…bad memories like these" he handed her a picture of the two of them with his famous smirk plastered on his lips.

"Ohh god.." she rolled her eyes as she handed the picture back to him.

"We started out the school year this way" he said with a small laugh

"Yeah don't remind me…"

"You were never happier"

"You were never hornier"

"Oh yea…you want some more of the magic" he looked at her with raised brows as he set the picture down beside him.

"Don't"

"Come here" his body barley lifted from the couch as he pulled her down into his lap.

"No…"

"Come on" she broke out into fits of laughter as his hands grabbed her sides, his fingers working feverishly as he tickled her.

"Stop it" she shrieked as she tried to get away. They're laughs echoed through the now vacant apartment and they were oblivious to the open door and the gaping brunette in the doorway. "Will you stop"

"Well well" the two broke apart and Peyton scrambled to her feet. "First Lucas then Jake now Nathan…guess slutty's in season."

"And why is bitch being a Brooke" Peyton smiled at her best friend.

"I don't know…maybe because I'm leaving for the summer, possibly forever…and my best friend is off giving interviews and having pseudo innocent foreplay with kinda married guys." This grabbed Nathan's attention as he turned around to gaze at the cross armed brunette.

**End Flashback**

"Ohhh…Mr. Scott…you are looking pretty hot in those boxers." She whispered seductively into his ear as her finger traced the lines in his stomach. She giggled when he shifted slightly and smiled in his sleep. "Ohh Nathan" she whispered before feigning a moan. She inhaled deeply and let it out slowly, sound occasionally slipping from her perfectly glossed lips.

"Hmmm" he moaned as her hand slipped down and traced the rim of his boxers. She watched his head tilt back, his lips parted slightly. She slipped her leg over his body and straddled his stomach. She gently drew on his chest with her fingertips. She placed one finger in the center of his chest and slowly dragged her finger down until she reached the edge of his boxers again. "Ahhh" his head rolled to the side as he bit his bottom lip. She watched his eyes slowly flutter open.

"Morning sunshine…." She smiled and waved at him from her position on his stomach.

"Peyton what are you doing here this early…sitting on me at that" he questioned as he looked over at his clock before gazing back up at her. It was a little past 7AM and he was ready to do back to sleep.

"Well…I just wanted to wake you up" she smiled sweetly at him. "Plus I wanted to fulfill I certain promise I made to you" she watched him squirm slightly and saw the little bit of confusion in his face.

"And what promise would that be" he watched her bend down so that she could whisper into his ear.

"I told you I could get a rise out of you" her voice was low and seductive.

"Damn you Peyton" He grabbed her by the waist and pushed her next to him on the bed as he finally realized what that off feeling was. She laughed as he hurried off the bed and towards his door.

"Where ya going?" she questioned innocently as she laid back and relaxed on his bed.

"I'm going to take a shower" he glared at her as he disappeared into the hall.

"Make sure that waters nice and cold" she called after him and she laughed again when she heard the bathroom door slam.

When he walked back in the room he found her curled up on his bed sleeping. He shook his head before throwing his towel down in a nearby chair. He laid down next to her and pushed her body over slightly. "You can't have the entire bed"

"Hmmm" she turned to face him, her eyes barley open. "What is with guys and sleeping in boxers?" she questioned as she closed her eyes again.

"It's cool and it's comfortable." He placed his hands behind his head and looked over at the curly blonde. "You know…you come over here and wake me up and then you go to sleep…that doesn't seem right"

"It's not my fault you had to take a shower" she smiled slyly but her eyes remained closed.

"Ohh it's not" he looked at her wide eyed.

"Nope" she opened her eyes to look at him. She laughed lightly before closing her eyes and turning her back to him. "You should learn to control yourself"

"Fine" he moved his hands to her side and pulled her body into his and began tickling her.

"Nathan stop…" she begged between laughs.

"What…it's not my fault your ticklish…you should learn to control yourself" he mimicked with a smile. "So what are you doing over here this early" he questioned, his fingers still moving rapidly at her sides.

"If you stop….I'll tell you"

"Alright" he placed his hands back under his head and she turned to face him.

"Well…I was bored and I couldn't sleep"

"I think you just wanted to see me in boxers cuz you fell asleep real fast in my bed…I know you want me Peyton, but there's really no need to be so seductive…all you have to do is say the word." He winked her and she rolled her eyes

"Whatever Nate…anyway I was wondering if you we're up to a day at the beach" she smiled sweetly at him.

"And why can't you go by yourself" he closed his eyes and waited.

"Well…I tired that twice already and every time I go there are these guys there and they won't leave me alone. I know they'll leave me along if they see me with you. Please Nate…" She rested her chin on his stomach and watched as he opened one eye and looked down at her. She stuck out her bottom lip.

"Alright, alright…just stop with the puppy dog face"

"Ohh…thank you…you're the best Nate" she sat up and kissed him on the cheek before sitting up straight.

"I know, I know" he placed his hands up in the air and smirked at her.

"Go get dressed" she shook her head at him and watched as he grabbed his trunks and a shirt before disappearing into the bathroom.

"Lets go" he said as he stuck his head back into his room. Peyton jumped off the bed and followed him down the hall. He grabbed his keys off the hook by the door.

"We can do something you want after this…just to be fair." She stated as they got into his car and took off down the road.

"Sounds like a plan…food and a movie good." He looked at her and she nodded.

"Why does that sound like a date Mr. Scott" she questioned as she smirked at him.

"I guess cuz that's what most people do on dates…but if it were a date I'd be paying for you…and I have no intention of doing that." They both laughed as they pulled into the parking lot.

"Good to know...don't want people thinking I'm dating you…how awful would that be" she frowned and shook her head.

"Hey…I'm a good boyfriend" he defended as they got out and started towards the sand.

"Okay…sure…I seem to recall certain incidents in our relationship that would prove you wrong…a lot of them" she stuck her tongue out at him. She expected him to have some witty comment to fire back at her but he just kept walking quietly. "Nate…"

"I wasn't that bad…was I" he looked over at her as they walked.

"No you weren't. We just didn't click very well towards the end but it was good at first. We've got a lot of memories Nate…good ones. Plus…you're not the same guy anymore so don't hang on it."

"Yeah" he said quietly and she frowned. She walked over to him and hugged him tightly, stopping him from walking.

"You're not a bad guy Nate…you never were. You just had a lot going on and you didn't know how to deal with it. It doesn't make you a horrible person…it just makes you human. You're a good boyfriend Nate…and as far as I'm concerned you're a great friend." She smiled at him as they pulled apart and she was glad to see him return the gesture.

"Thanks Peyt"

"No problem…now lets go have some fun" she stripped down to her bikini and pulled him down to the water.

**Flashback**

"Sweet. You got a pool?"

"Yeah. You want to go swimming?"

"No, you are the boy toy you do what I say tonight."

"Oh just like old times" he laughed while she rolled her eyes

"Please. You did whatever you wanted and most of the time it was either sucky or mean."

"I know. But you let me"

" Well maybe I kept thinking you'd change. Live and learn, right? Is this thing heated?"

"I don't know, why don't you check it out?" He watched her walk foreword and bend down in front of the pool. As she dipped her hand in he ran towards her. His hands slipped around her waist and she screamed as he pulled her in the pool with him.

"Oh my god!" she shrieked as soon as she resurfaced

"I slipped"

"What!"

"I slipped. Hey, at least it's heated" Peyton's jaw dropped as Nathan continued to laugh. She swam over to him and pushed him under, starting an unplanned water fight.

**End Flashback**


	2. You Learn Not To Ask

"So what are you doing today" She jumped onto his bed with raised brows and a bright smile. He couldn't help but laugh.

"Umm…well I was planning to hang out with a gorgeous blonde…but see now I have someone sitting on my bed and I am very tempted to do something."

"Well Mr. Scott what are you planning to do with me…" her blond curls bounced on her shoulders as leaned closer to him.

"Ohh…its what I'm planning to do to you…for as long as I can" he smiled devilishly at her before grabbing her waist and pushing her onto her back.

"Nathan…" she squealed as his fingers maneuvered quickly along her sides.

"Let's see…"

"You're the best…" she managed in between laughs.

"Nah Peyt…see that was last weeks phrase…we need something new"

"Nate please…" she was squirming all over his bed but he wouldn't release her.

"Nathan is sexy as hell"

"Nathan is a cocky litte…"

"That wasn't the phrase…" he sung out as he cut her off.

"Okay okay…Nathan is sexy as hell"

"I know…thank you" He slipped off the bed and slipped on his sneakers. "Now get off my bed…"

"Maybe I don't wanna" she smiled before relaxing into her sheets. She closed her eyes and before she knew it she was over Nathan's shoulder and being carried out the room.

"Now you came over here and woke me up and then proceeded to harass me for the rest of the day and into the night…we made plans to meet at noon…was it that unbearable to be away from me for a few hours."

"Hah…actually I was just bored…and I wanted to "harass" you again." She used her fingers to air quote the word before laughing.

"Okay…so I was still never told why you can't go harass Lucas" Nathan turned to face her and found the brightness gone from her eyes.

"Why aren't you spending the day with Haley" she countered without looked at him.

"So how about lunch" he wrapped his arm around her shoulder as they walked towards his car.

"Cafe…" She smiled up at him…the sparkle returning to her eyes.

"Sounds good" he opened the passenger door and watched her slide in before he closed the door and walked around to get in himself. They spent the car ride making faces at each other and stealing quick glances. It had been 15 days since summer officially started…14 since Nathan declared himself an only child, Brooke left and Haley returned, 13 days since Peyton cut Lucas out of her life, and 12 days since Peyton and Nathan started spending everyday together. If he didn't come get her in the morning she went to get him and at night he would drive her home…it was routine for them now, and it was how they planned to spend the rest of the summer. Neither knew why the other had pushed everyone else away and they had learned not to ask. They had each other and for the moment that was good enough.


	3. Going All Out

"So how about I make a deal with you" They we're laying side by side on her bed, just staring up at the ceiling. She looked over at him and raised a brow before speaking.

"What if I told you that you'd be making a pact with the devil" She gave him a gentle smirk as she awaited a response.

"I'm willing to sell my soul"

"Alright…"

"So how about you tell me why you're pissed at Lucas…and then I tell you why I'm not talking to Haley."

"I don't like that deal…I can draw my own conclusions about you and Haley"

"Okay…I tell you details about me and Haley as well as why I'm not talking to Lucas." He glanced over at her and watched her nod slowly.

"But only if you talk first" She didn't want to get into anything about Lucas right now…or ever. She just wanted to forget that he ever existed.

"Fine…I don't really wanna talk about Lucas so in short…he did some stuff to get back at Dan…I found out and asked him to stop…he told me her would btu he was lying…I found out and called it quits with him. I don't need another person to lie to me…I've have enough of that already. As far as Haley, she came back and showed up at my door expecting things to just go back to the way they we're before she left. But we could never be the same…we just did this all too young."

"But why won't you try to make it work."

"Because…our relationship is beyond fixing. She's the one that ended things and when she thought it over she wanted to take it back….there are just some things that you can't take back."

"I thought you signed the annulment papers first"

"I did…but only after I went to see her and she told me that we made a mistake…she wasn't wearing her wedding ring and that's when I knew she wanted things to end…she wanted us to be over." Nathan truned her head and looked towards the blonde who now had a solitary tears sliding down her cheek. "What's wrong Peyt…"

"It's just….I know how you feel" she closed her eyes and pushed the remaining tears away…she wouldn't cry over him…she refused to. "He called me…us…everything we had or at least what I though we had…he called it all a mistake."

"What" Nathan sat up and looked down at her…although he was pissed at Lucas he never thought he would stoop that low. Any idiot could see how much Peyton cared about Lucas and it was nothing short of cruel for the older Scott to call her a mistake.

"Yeah…Brooke called me when she got into her new house…she started rambling about how Lucas kissed her and told her he wanted to be with her. I don't think she meant to actually tell me what he said but she did. She had asked him about this box he has…its filled with all that things I gave him…notes…sketches….pictures…his answer was that he keeps it all to remind him of how badly he screwed up…aka how much of a mistake he made… with me." Her voice cracked near the end and she couldn't hold back anymore. The tears slid quickly down her cheeks as Nathan pulled her into his arms.

"I'm sorry Peyt…" he held her tightly as she cried.

"It's not that I care about him so much now…it just…I know I cared then…I hate the way we went about doing things but I could never regret it or consider it some kind of mistake. Everything we went through together…it all means something to me and it just hurts to know how he really feels about me and what I thought we had."

"He's an ass Peyton"

"I know that…its…I gave up everything for him Nathan…I ruined my friendship with Brooke because he swore to me that it wasn't just a fling…I mean I got my best friend back but we're not the same anymore….we never will be. I let him in and he broke my heart…but that wasn't enough for him…he had to trample on it some more and it just hurts" she closed her eyes as Nathan dropped a kiss on top of her head.

"Forget them…forget Lucas…forget Haley… we don't need 'em…we've got each other." He leaned his forehead against hers and they both gave a small laugh.

"Nate can we get out of here…you know…away from Tree Hill for a few days" he tears we're drying as she looked into his eyes…hope radiating through hers.

"Sure…as long as we go all out" he smirked at her and watched her smile slightly.

"What did you have in mind"

"School stars back up in a month an a half…I say we take a road trip…rent a car…head down to Florida…spend some time in the Key West…you always used to nag me about how much you wanted to go there" she hit him lightly in the arm.

"If it's an all out vacation I say we stay for a month" she raised a brow at him.

"Sound good to me…and to make it really big…I say we leave tonight...all I have to do is tell my mom…you can call your dad and we can pack and go. We have no reason to stay here so why not"

"I don't see a reason…that means you have to go though. Is 12 o'clock good." She watched him nod and she smiled brightly…she need to get out of Tree Hill…away from everything and everyone that had been driving her closer to an emotional breakdown. This would be good for her…it would be good for him too.

"I'll see you at 12" he kissed her cheek before walking out her room. She sat in bed for a few more minutes before getting up to find her suitcase. He showed up in her room at 11:55 to find her sitting on her bed sketching. "You ready?" she looked up and nodded before closing her sketch pad and sliding off the bed.

"Let's go" She walked over to her begs but was stopped by Nathan as he lifted them into his hands.

"I got em" They smiled at each other before walking out of her room and out of her house. Peyton stopped in her driveway and stared disbelievingly at Nathan.

"You rented a Lamborghini Murcielago…that is like the all time toy car"

"You like…" he questioned and watched her nod. He smiled as he threw her bags in next to his and shut the hood. "I told you I was going all out…"

"Yeah…I'd say"

"Watch this…my favorite part" he was smiling like a little kid on Christmas as he pressed a button on the key chain and watched the doors lift up. "How cool is that"

"Very…but I wanna know how it drives" She raised a brow as she got in on the passenger side of the two-seater.

"Ohhh…your wish is my command" Nathan jumped into the drivers seat and stared the car. "You ready…"

"Let's hit the road" As soon as the doors we're closed they were out her driveway and speeding down the road. It was the start of an amazing four weeks for the two teens. It served as a much needed break from what they called life.


	4. What You Dont See When Your Backs Turned

A/N--I know some of you guys we're looking for chapters about the vacation, but I'm cutting to when they get back because the main plot of the story takes place when everyone gets back together and they start their senior year.—

"Can we go back…please…I wanna go back"

"I know you do…but we can't"

"Please"

"No"

"Pretty please"

"No"

"What if I said you were my favoritist person in the whole world"

"Aww that's sweet…but we're not going back...in a week we're going back to school"

"But I'd rather go back to beaches and parties and sunshine and my car"

"Nathan…we are not going back…and you couldn't keep that car forever anyway" She looked over at him with her hand rested firmly against her hip.

"I don't like you very much" He stuck his tongue out at her.

"God I wish I was that mature" She tilted her head and glared at him before rolling her eyes.

"I'm very mature" He lifted himself from her bed and stood only inches away from her.

"Really…" She countered leaning closer to him.

"Yeah" he too leaned closer…his voice lowering.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night" she rolled her eyes before walking back towards her closet. Her back was turned so she missed the pained look that flashed across his eyes. He closed his eyes tightly and took a deep breath. He didn't know what he was feeling but he had been feeling it a lot over the last two weeks.

"Listen…I gotta go take care of some stuff" he mumbled as he walked over to her. She turned around to face him, a sad smile playing on her lips.

"Okay...am I gunna see you later" she could feel that growing distance between them. Things hadn't been the same since they got back to Tree Hill.

"Yeah…I'll call you later on…don't make any plans for tonight" he pointed his finger at her and she laughed lightly.

"I won't" he leaned down and kissed her lightly on the cheek before walking away. He turned just on time to miss the solitary tears that slid down her face. He was right there in front of her but she missed him.

Peyton collapsed on her bed and let the tears slide silently from her eyes. Nathan was all she had right now and she felt like she was losing him. A knock on her door woke her…she hand't realized she had fallen asleep. She turned her head to look at her doorway.

"Hey…"

"What do you want" she sat up quickly and glared at the blonde lingering in her doorway.

"To talk" he shoved his hands in his pockets as he stepped closer to her.

"What could we possibly have to talk about Lucas" She stood up, her eyes never leaving his.

"Maybe why you just stopped talking to me. I mean we spent the entire night on the beach and the next day I see you and say hi and all you do is brush past me."

"Why don't you try figuring it out on your own because I don't want or need you here…now or ever."

"Peyton…what did I do" he looked at her hopelessly...waiting for her to give him some kid of hint as to what he did wrong.

"Look…Lucas just go…Brooke will be back soon so you really should leave before you make another mistake"

"What…" genuine confusion was written in his features as he watched tears escape her eyes.

"Get out…" she muttered as she shook her head and shoved past him.

"Peyton…I thought we were friends" he followed her into the hall as he called her name. She stopped and spun around.

"How dare you come into my house and propose friendship to me. I don't want your friendship Lucas and you sure as hell don't deserve mine."

"Whatever I did…I'm sorry…okay"

"Don't apologize to me…your apology isn't worth shit Lucas."

"Peyt… please"

"You have no right to call me that…as a matter of fact…do us both a favor and forget you ever knew me"

"Peyton…" he'd do anything to know what he did wrong…anything to fix it.

"I think you should leave" Lucas turned around to find his brother behind him.

"And I think you're an ass" the older Scott countered back. He had been the one to help Haley through he first real heartbreak and now he wanted to kill Nathan….he wanted him to hurt the same way Haley did every time she saw him with Peyton.

"And I think you're a self-righteous prick…so now that we all know what the other thinks…you can get the hell out of my house"

"Despite what you think Peyton…I do" he began but she cut him off with a bitter laugh.

"What…you care…yeah…about yourself" Lucas shook his head and gave he one last glance before brushing past his brother and downstairs to leave.

"Are you okay" Nathan took a step closer to her and she fell into his arms.

"No…I hate him…I hate myself for getting upset over him." She admitted into his chest.

"I'm sorry" Nathan kissed the top of her head lightly as he spoke.

"And I feel like I'm losing you" she whispered. He pulled away from her and held her back at arms length. It was his fault she felt like that and he knew it. He had distanced himself from her lately because of how confused he was becoming.

"You are not losing me" He leaned his forehead against hers. "I've just had a lot on my mind lately…I'm sorry I let it affect us"

"So we're okay" she looked into his eyes and smiled as he nodded in response.

"Are you up for a movie…we can go out or stay in, as long as I get pizza." He was glad he made her laugh. She pushed him lightly and rolled her eyes.

"I swear all you do is eat" her voice was still weak from crying but the tears had stopped.

"I'm a guy…its what I do" he shrugged as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "So what'll it be"

"We order a pie and watch a movie on my couch…then we get ice cream" They walked downstairs and into the kitchen.

"You want ice cream and you're complaining about my eating habits." He joked and earned a hit in the chest.

"Fine…I'll just go get ice cream by myself"

"Hey…I never said I didn't want ice cream…I was merely pointing out facts."

"Whatever…go order the pie and I'll pick a movie."

"No chick flicks" they both said at the same time. They laughed lightly before going back to what they we're doing.


	5. What Comes With the Night

"Nathan…" her voice was soft as her eyes stayed focused on the sky. They had made their way up to her roof…Nathan had spent almost an hour coercing Peyton to go out there.

"Yeah…" his shifted and came to rest on her. Something about her appeared fragile as she fixed her gaze on him…vulnerable even.

"Are things gunna change tomorrow" there were a waterfall of tears hiding behind her eyes…threatening to escape…it was all dependent on his answer. They stared school tomorrow…first day of their senior year. At the beginning of the summer they had both expected to have a great senior year…a memorable last year of high school. With everything that had occurred over the summer, they were beginning to fear that tomorrow would start a year of everything but greatness. Peyton had been informed two days ago that her best friend would be starting school on the opposite coast…despite all her whining Brooke hadn't been able to get her parent to let her come back to Tree Hill. She was going to be starting the school year with one friend…the boy lying next to her. The only problem was that he seemed to be slipping away with each passing day.

"I don't know…I hope not, but everything is so up in the air with all of us…there's no way to tell." He sighed deeply as he stole a quick glance up at the stars before looking at her again. "We'll be okay though" she closed her eyes and smiled contently…that was all she really needed to hear from him.

Her gaze shifted back to the stars but his eyes remained on her. He wasn't questioning what he was feeling anymore…he wanted more than friendship with her…but he was positive that was all she wanted and he refused to jeopardize the relationship they had created over the summer. He watched a stray curl slide off he face as she shuddered in the cool breeze that blew by them. "Come on…let's head in" he stood up and reached down to pull her to her own feet. She wrapped her arm around herself as they reentered her room, the cool air still sending chills through her body. "You okay" he questioned with a small smile playing on his lips.

"Yeah…just a little chilly is all." She shrugged as she finished speaking. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. He moved towards the window and closed it before walking back towards her. He pulled her body into his and rubber her arms with his hands. She relaxed into his, her eyes still closed. It was moments like this she enjoyed, when they were close and unaffected by anything outside of her room.

"Better" he questioned softly and she nodded against his chest before a yawn escaped her lips. "Tired" he smirked as he spoke.

"A little" she responded dully. In truth she was exhausted, she hadn't slept the night before…she had been to worry about her relationship with Nathan…the only real relationship she had left. She wanted to get her friendship back with Haley but every time she saw the petite brunette Lucas was by her side, and she still wanted nothing to do with him.

"Get some sleep then…you gotta get up in the morning and you should be well rested for the first day of school"

"Thanks dad" she rolled her eyes and shook her head but stayed leaning against his chest.

"I've been replaced" Peyton quickly turned around to find her father standing in the doorway.

"Daddy" her mood suddenly becoming childish the way it always did when her father was around. She ran towards him with a large smile forming on her lips.

"Hey baby girl…I missed you" he wrapped her in his arms as she did the same.

"I missed you too…I didn't know you were coming home" she didn't let him go…she wasn't ready to. Part of her always feared that if she let him go he would disappear again.

"Well I wasn't supposed to be but I decided to come see you…its only until tomorrow night but I was hoping it was better then nothing." He smiled as he pulled back and looked down at her. There wasn't a day that went by when he didn't regret missing his daughter grow up. They needed the money though, quitting his job wasn't really an option. He had taken the local jobs but they didn't pay enough and the bank had threatened to foreclose on the house. He never told his daughter that…it wasn't her job to worry about their financial situation. He took the job offer that paid a good amount…enough to get her into some of the better art schools next year…unfortunately it left him at sea for months at a time.

"Its better" she smiled as she leaned up and hugged him again quickly. "Daddy you remember Nathan right" she looked back at the dark haired boy who had been smiling at the change in the blonde's demeanor.

"Well if isn't Nathan Scott…it's been awhile…you've grown up" it had been over a year since he last saw Nathan with his daughter…it had been almost 3 years since the two had actually spoken to each other. He had known Nathan from when he was younger…still in elementary school. He, Brooke, and Peyton had been friends then, that was until Anna passed. Peyton had only remained friends with Brooke after that and it remained that way up until high school. The next time Larry had seen Nathan was when he was dating his daughter. The only thing he knew about their relationship was that it lasted for a while but ended last year.

"Hi Mr. Sawyer" Nathan gave a small wave, his eyes only leaving the blonde for a second. Larry smiled as he watched the teen boy watch his daughter…he knew the look…it was the same look he had seen on Lucas's face last time he was in town. He couldn't help but wonder where Lucas was…he would wait till later to ask though.

"So from what I hear your taking good care of my daughter." Larry commented, referring to the comment he heard when he first walked in.

"The best I can…she's a little stubborn at times but we manage" Peyton stuck he tongue out at the youngest Scott before rolling her eyes.

"Nathan was just leaving" she raised a brow and watched as he returned the gesture.

"I'll see you in the morning" he leaned in and kissed her cheek gently before stretching his hand toward the older man. He would have stayed longer and argued with her but he knew she wanted to spend time with her dad.

"It was good to see you again Nathan" Larry said genuinely…anyone who made his daughter smile that way couldn't be bad.

"You too Mr. Sawyer" with that Nathan walked out leaving the father and daughter to bond.


	6. No Need For Worry

Peyton shuffled through her closet aimlessly. She had been skimming her clothes for the past 15 minutes…her mind on everything but her prospective outfit. She was more nervous about today then she was willing to admit to even herself. Her and Nathan had already started to drift, Lucas…well their current situation was enough to put her thoughts in a whirlwind. Then there as the fact that Haley was coming back to school for good…they did have a great friendship…that was until she took off without so much as a goodbye…also before she watched Nathan fall apart various times between last year and this past summer…Haley wasn't the same girl that left Tree Hill….at least not that Peyton could tell. To top it al off she was going to have to deal with all of it without a best friend….Nathan meant the world to her but he could never be the overly cheery brunette she had grown up with…no one could ever be Brooke Davis, and it was hard for the curly blonde to deal with the fact that she even had to worry about such a thing.

"You're gunna be late for your first day sweetheart" her dad's voice sliced through her thoughts. She smiled slightly…glad that her father was home for a little while. She settled on a pair of low raise jeans and a fitted tee. She had done her hair before her little day dream so she was able to get downstairs only a few minutes later. She rounded the corner into the kitchen and was greeted with the smell of waffles and bacon.

"Okay…daddy this smells delicious." Larry turned around and watched as his daughter sat down, a piece of bacon in her hand.

"Morning sweetheart" the older Sawyer turned around and went back cooking with a smile on his face.

"I don't know…maybe it's just me…but it seems like there's a lot of food here" Peyton stated as she grabbed another piece of bacon. She opened her mouth but was robbed of her food before she could even think of eating it.

"Well that's cause you're not the only one who eats breakfast" Peyton spun in her chair and gaped at the smirking brunette that was now eating the food. "I know I'm hot but god stop drooling"

"Oh my god…when did…I thought…." Peyton stammered over her words, her eyes remaining wide.

"Three months away and I can still leave people speechless…"

"Oh I missed you soo much" Peyton stood up and immediately flung her arms around Brooke's neck.

"I missed you too P Sawyer…I wanted to run upstairs and get you about 20 minutes ago but Papa Peyton said it would be a bigger entrance if I waited down here." The two girls pulled apart, bright smiles plastered on both their faces.

"I smell food…its smells good so that means your dad cooked" The voice echoed down the hall and caused Brooke to raise a brow, a devious smile immediately taking over her features.

"Is that…" the brunette began slowly.

"Brooke…" the two brunettes looked at each other in surprise.

"Nathan…didn't expect to see you here" Brooke looked between the other two teens, her mind racing with the endless possibilities.

"Don't" Peyton pointed her finger at her best friend before she could even open her mouth.

"Fine…I'll find out later…like on the way school." There was laughter in the brunettes words as she bumped hips with Peyton and then sat down at the table.

"Brooke…" she looked up and winked at the owner of the voice.

"Don't worry Papa Peyton…I'll keep you informed" the statement earned a glare from the blonde as she took her seat.

"Take a seat Nathan…it'll be like old times" Larry nodded towards an empty chair as he carried a full plate of waffles to the table. When they we're younger it had been ritual for the four of them to eat breakfast together. The three teens ate quickly before heading out the door and towards their first day as seniors.

"So…you know why I insisted on driving right" Brooke glanced quickly at Peyton before returning her attention to the road.

"Brooke…" the blonde protested.

"Look…this will go a lot quicker if you just stop whining and tell me what's up with you and Nathan"

"There's nothing to tell…we're just good friends now. Neither one of us had anybody over the summer so we started spending time together…but we're just friends…I swear."

"Okay…I believe you…but you're not telling me something…I can just sense it…if you're such good friends then why does it make you sad to talk about him"

"We we're really close all summer and we took a trip together…and it was great, but when we came back…I don't know…he just started getting distant…we're close…but not the way we we're."

"Oh" Peyton glanced over at the brunette who held a somber look on her face.

"Brooke…you always have been, still are, and always will be my best friend…no one will ever hold that title but you…Nathan will never take your place in my life or in my heart…we're like sisters" She watched as a smile formed on her best friend's face.

"I know…but I was really worried that things we're gunna change because of this summer. Good to know I was worrying for nothing"

"So…where are you staying" Peyton questioned as the two girls exited the car.

"With Lucas and Karen…it was the only way my parents would let me come back." Peyton didn't respond, she couldn't be mad at Brooke for her living arrangements, and she figured if she got her best friend back she could deal with that little inconvenience. "Tutor wife is back too" Brooke raised her brows and she watched Haley walk out of the main office.

"Huh…" Peyton shook her head before registering what Brooke said.

"Haley…"

"Ohh yea…she came back for good to finish up high school." Peyton shrugged her shoulders as she glanced straight ahead.

"Hey you" Peyton looked to her other side to find the younger Scott smiling down at her. At least things seemed okay between them for now.

"Hey" she returned the smile.

"Just wanted to catch ya before first…I gotta get going though" he leaned down and kissed her cheek gently.

"Alright…" her smile remained as he stood back to his full height.

"Hmmm" They both turned to find Brooke rolling her eyes.

"What…" Nathan questioned with smirk on his face.

"Nothing…I need to get to class myself so…" she shrugged her shoulders before her eye caught the two teens staring from across the hall. "Let the drama begin" Brooke spat bitterly before giving a small wave to Peyton and Nathan and taking off down the hall. The two teens were confused at first, until the caught Lucas and Haley glaring at them from across the hall.

"Walk you to class" Nathan held his arm out for the suddenly distressed blonde. He gave her his best smile and was glad to see her return the gesture….or at least attempt to.

"Sure" she linked arms with him and the two friends made their way towards the other end of the school, ignoring the looks from the two best friends leaning against the wall and others in the hall.


	7. Falling

Nathan anxiously made his way towards his car after school. Then only period he had with Peyton was lunch, and he had spent the full 50 minutes with Whitey. Today had been the first day since last school year ended that he had not spent all his time with the curly blonde…he couldn't deny that he missed her. He smiled when he saw her leaning against the trunk, however as he got closer his smile faded. Her appearance was solemn and even when she saw him, her look remind the same.

"Hey" he wasn't sure how to approach her…mostly because he had no clue what was wrong. He had been expecting to see her at his car, but he thought she would be smiling, not on the verge of tears.

"I know I got a ride with Brooke this morning, but would you be able to…" her voice cracked more with each word and he cut her off by pulling her into his arms.

"Yeah…it's fine" he led her around to the passenger's side of the car and opened the door for her. She dropped her bag on the floor and sat stiffly in the seat. He gave her a questioning glance as he slid into his own seat. She didn't look at him, she refused to simply because she knew she would break down if she did. He knew it too. "Pey…"

"I'm fine" she cut him off, her eyes still glued to the spot dashboard directly in front of her.

"I didn't ask"

"You were gunna"

"Peyton"

"Nathan I said I'm fine now will you please drop it" she hissed towards him, her eyes still unmoving.

"Fine" he sighed heavily before starting the car and pulling out of his spot. The ride to her house was quiet, no words exchange and no stolen glances. This wasn't one of their comfortable silences…the car was full of tension they were both too afraid to break. The last time they had been in a situation like this was the first day of summer, when Haley first returned and Brooke revealed Lucas's harsh words. They had both found themselves on the beach…each able to tell the other was currently fragile. Neither knew what to say so they sat uncomfortably next to each other for nearly 4 hours.

"I'm sorry" the blonde whispered as they pulled up into her driveway. Nathan turned to look at her and for the first time she met his gaze. He could see her eyes glistening with tears, but he didn't say anything…he had learned that at times like this it was best to stay quiet.

Her day had turned stressful towards the middle, too stressful for her to handle…the reason why she was shutting herself down now. She never expected the return of her best friend to be a bad thing.

FLASHBACK

Peyton walked into lunch, with a smile on her face. She had managed to avoid Lucas all morning. She had one class with Haley but they sat on opposite sides of the room, making it easy for the blonde to ignore the nasty glares. Unfortunately she hadn't seen Nathan all morning, but that would change now. She spotted Brooke sitting at a table in the middle of the cafeteria. Her smile grew at the thought of her best friend being back in Tree Hill. There was a slight bounce in her step as she neared the table. Her fears of a horrible year were turning out to be unneeded.

"Hey…" the blonde smiled at she went to put her bag down in the empty chair next to Brooke. The brunette placed her hand down on the chair abruptly and turned her head slightly, just enough for Peyton to see her roll her eyes.

"Sorry this seats taken…" her words were nonchalant as she removed her had from the chair. Peyton shook her head at the seated brunette before going to place her bad down again. This time was bumped out of the way unexpectedly by someone's hip.

"Excuse you…" Peyton began but she stopped when she caught sight of the person.

"What is she deaf…" Peyton watched as Haley sat down and eyed her form head to toe.

"Must be…" Brooke answered as she glanced towards Haley. Her eyes then focused on Peyton, her stare hard and cold. "Look since you apparently can't a hint, I'll be blunt…leave" Brooke scuffed before turning back to her food. Peyton stared disbelievingly at the brunette who had been eating breakfast at her side just hours earlier.

The blonde didn't hesitate to turn and leave the two brunettes. She glanced around the room but she couldn't find Nathan anywhere. She needed someone to make her laugh, or at least to make her smile, but the only person who could do that was MIA.

Her day proceeded to go downhill from there. She had one more class with Haley, 2 with both Brooke and Haley, and her last class was with both girls and Lucas. That was definitely not the way she wanted to end her day, with Brooke and Haley glaring at her, occasionally looking and laughing in her direction. She knew now that she was right to be worried about her year…she feared that maybe she wasn't worried enough.

END FLASHBACK

"It's just been a really…really long day" she whispered, using all of her strength to hold back the tears.

"Come here" Nathan didn't have to wait long for her to fall into his arms. Her face was buried in his neck and with in seconds he could feel the moisture sliding down his skin.

"I was so happy she came back" He could barley make out her muffled words.

"What happened" he questioned…he knew she was referring to Brooke, but how the return of her missed best friend was making her cry was what he couldn't understand.

"I don't know…I went to lunch and she was there. I went to sit next to her and Haley came up and shoved me out of the way. Then Brooke told me to leave and they spent the rest of the day glaring at me and whispering about me and I don't know what I did."

Nathan was just as confused as she was. He had seen Brooke this morning and nothing about the way she was acting fit with her cruelty towards the now crying blonde. "I'm sorry Peyt" it was all he could say to her. He regretted not being at lunch even more now. She had needed him and he wasn't there. He was there now though…the problem was that he had no clue how to help her.

He let her slowly pull away from him and her forehead soon came to rest on his. "I shouldn't have taking it out on you Nate" she closed her eyes, the tears still flowing freely down her cheeks. He watched her intently…he couldn't deny it anymore…he now knew exactly what he had been feeling for the past few weeks. It was taking every once of will he had to not lean in and close the distance between them. He was falling for his ex-girlfriend…fast and hard. He couldn't pull away from her…she was already scared of losing him…he had to wait for her to pull back…until then he was stuck fighting to maintain his distance. He shut his eyes hoping to give himself some more control. "I should go" she whispered as she opened her eyes. She watched as he opened his eyes and nodded his head slowly. "I wanna spend some more time with my dad before he goes…"

"So I'll see you in the morning" his voice was low. He couldn't get his eyes to move from hers, despite all his attempts.

"Yeah…" she closed her eyes briefly before pulling her body away. She reached for her bag with one hand while she opened the door with the other. "Bye" she watched him nod in her direction before closing the car door and retreating into her house. He followed her with his eyes until he saw the white front door close.


	8. The Simple Things That Make You Smile

"Talk to me"

"You have to stop answering you're phone like that" he laughed good naturedly as he imagined her rolling eyes.

"Why…last time I checked it was my phone." He countered.

"Nathan…do not answer you're phone like that"

"Yes mommy Peyton" his voice was childish and he once again couldn't help but laugh as he imagined the scowl that he knew was on her face.

"Whatever" she replied blandly causing his smile to instantly fade.

"Peyton…"

"Forget it Nate…I'm just gunna go…I'll talk to you in the morning." There was no emotion in her voice and it worried him.

"Peyt…" he knew he had to be gentle with her when she was like this, but he didn't know if it would help any.

"What" her voice cracked despite her attempt to keep her tone even.

"Talk to me" he smiled when he heard her light laughter echo through the ear piece.

"I told you not to say that" she was barley audible as she spoke but he heard her nonetheless.

"You told me not to answer the phone like that" she laughed again as did he. "Peyton…what's wrong?" he questioned once they both had gone silent.

"Nothing…I mean…other then the same stuff from earlier but…" she stayed quiet, her voice barely above a whisper.

"So you called just to harass me…as usual" his made his voice playful simply because he knew there was a chance of her taking his words to heart.

"What if I said my dad left and I just wanted to talk to you" tears slipped from her eyes as a small smile appeared on his face. He never imagined that hearing her say something like that would make his heart race and put a goofy grin on his face.

"Nothing's wrong with that…" it was her turn to smile simply because she was scared of losing him. She was scared that he would reject her request of just staying on the phone…but he hadn't.

"Thanks" she whispered as she stretched her body across her bed and then curled her knees close to her chest, her head resting comfortably against a pillow.

"For what" he questioned as he placed his free hand behind his head and leaned back into his own pillow.

"Talking to me…"

"I love talking to you" his voice had once again turned gentle and he blushed for no one when he realized he had said what he was thinking. He was glad that she hadn't nagged him about his choice of words…or more so about the way he said it.

"Since I don't wanna talk about mine, we can talk about your first day as a senior"

"That's not gunna be a long convo…it was the same as every other day of junior year. Actually it was a little worse cuz Whitey held me up all lunch period so I didn't get to see you like a planned" there was a hint of sarcasm in his voice, but not seeing her all day had upset him more then he was willing to let on.

"Just make sure you're there tomorrow" she said sternly before laughter escaped her lips.

"I'll be there" he informed her with a small laugh.

"Nathan…you are gunna be there right" she had suddenly turned serious as tears stung deep in her eyes again.

"Peyton…I promise you, I will be there tomorrow, and everyday after that" he wanted nothing more than to wrap her in his arms right then, but the problem was that she wasn't there for her to reach out and grab.

"Okay" the smile was slowly returning to her face. She tired to hold back but couldn't suppress the yawn that slipped past her lips.

"Bedtime for Peyton…" he joked and received a small laugh from her end.

"Nate…" she replied softly, her current fragile state once again showing.

"Hmmm…"

"Do you mind staying on the phone a little longer" he smiled at her request, mostly because he was hoping she wouldn't want to hang up.

"Not at all" if only she knew just hoe thrilled he was to be talking to her. He hated the distance that had been growing between them, but he didn't trust himself around her anymore…he wouldn't take the chance of slipping on and then losing her all together. If friendship was all he could have he was willing to deal with that. "So before I forget to ask…need a ride tomorrow?"

"I do have a car you know…" she laughed lightly as did he.

"I know…but I like the company" what he wanted to say was that he liked and wanted her company…not anyone else's. "Please…" it shocked them both that he was this adamant about her choice of transportation.

"Well if you insist…"

"I do…" he cut her off, but she merely laughed at him.

"Okay" he smiled widely simply because this meant he didn't have to wait until the middle of the day to see her. Nearly a minute had gone by before he realized that the conversation had stopped. "Peyton…" he waited but nothing came from her end but breathing. He tried again, but her even breaths were all he heard. He laughed lightly to himself as shifted his body slightly in his bed.

"Don't hang up" her voice was faint but her caught it and once again he couldn't stop the bashful smile that was slowly forming on his lips.

"I won't…goodnight Peyt"

"Goodnight" it didn't take long for her breathing to even back out, and all he did was listen with a goofy grin…the same goofy grin he walked around with the first time they exchanged I love you's 4 years ago. He went to sleep with that grin and spent the night dreaming of her and all the things he wanted but didn't have.


	9. Not Just A Bad Dream

She had stopped by the house to tell her best friend goodbye. She walked through the front door without knocking…hoping that she would be able to surprise Brooke. She stopped as she neared the bedroom. She stood near the doorway and watched as Brooke and Lucas stood with their lips locked. She leaned against the wall with wide eyes…she wasn't jealous…she was just a little shocked.

"Tell me that was a goodbye kiss"

"I wanna be with you Brooke" She knew she shouldn't be there…she would get the details from Brooke later but that was her cue to leave. She turned slowly trying not to make the wood floor underneath her creak.

"What"

"I'm sorry…I know we're friends…that's just how I feel."

"What about Peyton stuff?" She was halfway down the hall when she heard the question and it made her stop for a second. As much as she wanted the answer she didn't want to ease drop. She got ready to go again when Lucas's voice rang down the hallway and through her ears.

"I keep that stuff as I reminder of badly I screwed up things…with you…to remind myself if I ever get a second chance I'd never let you go again." Her breath caught in her throat as she listened to his words. She closed her eyes tightly before walking quickly out of the house…she didn't care anymore if she made noise. When she got to the end of the driveway she ran…she didn't know where she was going but her feet we're carrying her quickly as tears streamed from her eyes.

She ran along the beach…tears blurring her vision so she didn't see the person until she ran into them. "I'm sorry" she mumbled as they gripped her shoulders to steady her.

"Peyton…" she finally looked up to find Nathan staring down at her with worry displayed in his eyes.

Her eyes opened as her body shot up quickly. There were no words to describe how much pain those few minutes has caused her. Whoever said that words couldn't hurt you didn't know what the hell they were talking about. Words hurt…badly…they cause this undeniable pain that just surrounds you until it swallows you whole. She didn't want it to hurt like this…he didn't deserve to have that kind of power of her. This…what she was feeling right now as she laid buried under her comforter…this was why she never let him in…why she couldn't. Giving him her heart meant giving him the power to rip it to shreds…to slip in and steal the comfort from the few places she always knew she would be safe. Because of that she never gave him her heart…but he found his way in that shattered her anyway…all of her, and then he found a way to break her even more…with words.

It was he reoccurring nightmare…but her nightmare was real…it was her life…what she had to wake up to everyday. She was beyond thankful that she had Nathan; that she had run into him that night and been able to attach herself to him everyday since. She wasn't stupid…she knew good and well that without him she would have lost herself somewhere dark and too deep down to be found. But even with him she felt like she was starting slip into that place.

Her hands maneuvered within the sheets until she found the cordless phone she had fallen asleep with. Nathan's even breaths were all she heard as she laid back down and pulled the comforter up around her body. But she couldn't sleep…no matter how hard she tried…whenever she closed her eyes the same painful thoughts invaded her restless mind. There was a new though now though…the thought that her best friend since forever once again hated her. Brooke hadn't been back for even a day and somehow she had manage to fuck up their friendship again…but this time she didn't know what she had done.

So she laid there...with her eyes glued to the ceiling, and Nathan's breathing echoing in her ear. It was all she could do until she figured out a way to hide from the world.


	10. Escape

She woke up that morning to the shrill beeping of her alarm clock. She rolled over and absentmindedly slammed her hand down on the off button. She had dozed off about 10 minutes ago, a few minutes after her phone's battery dies and she was disconnected from Nathan. The sigh that escaped her lips was loud and defeated. It was one of those morning where getting up was just plain hard. It was almost impossible to move, after all what reason did she really have to get up. She was pulling herself from the safety over her bed to walk down halls and be miserable…there was nothing appealing about that as far as she could see. But she had to go…she wanted out of Tree Hill, which meant getting out of bed, putting on a smile, and going to school with her head held high.

Her legs swung over the bed and her bare feet soon found her soft, carpeted floor. A yawn escaped her lips before she stood up. She had already plugged her phone in to charge the battery, so she lazily made her way into the bathroom. The cold water felt good against her skin as she washed her face. She looked at her reflection through the mirror. Her fingers reached up and rubbed against the heavy bags that had formed under hers eyes…stress or lack of sleep, she wasn't sure which had caused them…maybe both. Her head snapped to the side as ringing echoed through her room. She sighed heavily as she dropped her hands and dragged her feet into her bedroom.

A small smile crept onto her lips as saw Nathan's name flash across her caller ID. She pressed the cordless phone to her ear after pressing the talk button. "Hey…"

"Hey you…I called your cell but there was no answer"

"Ohh…my phone kind of died last night…sorry" she pressed the phone between her ear and shoulder as she retreated over to her closet. Her fingers trailed along the various shirts hanging before her.

"It's fine…ummm…I just got a call from Whitey, he wants me to come in early, so I'm leaving my house now." She could hear the hesitation in his voice, and she knew he didn't wanna go. The truth was she didn't want him to go either. She was gunna need him there with her in the mornings.

"Oh, okay." She sighed for the third time that morning, once again she felt defeated.

"Yeah…" his voice hung and he couldn't help but hate the basketball team right now. That was the reason he was never able to be there for her anymore.

"So…I'll see you during lunch" She tired to sound okay…to sound hopeful no matter how much of a lie it was.

"Yeah" his voice was so plain…it was almost as if he just didn't care about seeing her. It was the complete opposite then the regretful voice he had used just seconds earlier. "Are you gunna be okay" his voice rang through the phone and she was startled at first. She wanted to smile because he did sound sincere, but she couldn't find it in her to believe him.

"I'll be fine…I'll see you later" she heard him mumble good-bye before she hung up the phone. She closed her eyes and through her head back. He had been so back and forth with her lately. She didn't know how he was feeling…and she sometimes she could swear he didn't wanna be anywhere near her. It was almost as if he was avoiding her most of the time and it tore her heart to pieces. He was all she had left…she didn't know what she would do, how she would survive if she lost him.

Tears slipped from behind closed lids as he eyes shut tighter…trying to hold back the tears, but she was fighting a battle that she had already lost. She had lost it before it even began...there was no way for her to deny that. Tears were inevitable for her these days…everything was just falling apart…piece by piece. She inhaled deeply to calm herself…she had to get herself together and get out of the house. As much as she dreaded school…she was determined to go. She may have been close, but she hadn't lost all hope yet…she need out of Tree Hill because maybe, just maybe if she got out she could start over in a place where no one knew her…somewhere new…somewhere that she didn't have to be afraid…somewhere she could just be a whole new person.

The tears continued to slide slowly down her cheeks, but she opened her eyes and pulled a pair of dark low rise jeans from her closet, along with a plain red t-shirt. She pushed her curls behind her ears and grabbed her keys from her computer desk, as well as her phone. With her messenger bag slung over her shoulder she made her was downstairs and out to her car. The tears were coming to a stop because they had to. She had a ten minute drive to school, which meant she had ten minutes to get all the excess tears out and for her eyes to dry. She could work with ten minutes…she's stopped crying in less.

The drive to school wasn't a long one, but the ride had still been better with Nathan. Thinking of him threatened to bring more tears to her eyes but she pushed those back immediately. She pulled into the school parking lot and made her way to her usual parking spot. With one deep breath she opened the car door, grabbed her bag and made her way inside. She left her house later than usual so that she would only have time to go to her locker and then go to class. She would get through this morning…she had to.

She couldn't guarantee that she would make it though…the minute she walked into the hall she was greeted with nasty looks and whispers behind her back. She tired to look straight ahead and ignore everyone, but it was hard to do with the snide remarks that were coming from every direction. She had no idea why everyone was staring at her…the last time she had gotten looks like that was when Felix had written 'DYKE' across her locker. The misery she went through then suddenly came back to her and the tears began building in her eyes. She quickened her pace as she headed for her locker. She wasn't going to make it after all.

She fumbled through her locker combination, and as soon as she got the door open she buried her head in the small dark compartment. Tears poured from her eyes and the more she tried to stop them the harder they fell. She angry with herself for crying because a few nasty looks…she had always been stronger then that…what the hell was happening to her.

"Whore" whoever had said had come extremely close to her because the words echoed through the locker. She picked her head up and glanced to the side…and she watched as Brooke continued to saunter down the hall. Peyton shook her head dejectedly and buried herself in her locker again.

She felt hands slide around her waist a few seconds. Nathan always seemed to magically be there when she fell apart like this. "I can make you feel better" the words were whispered into her ear, but the voice wasn't Nathan's. She tensed as hands slipped up the front of her shirt onto her bare stomach.

"Get off of me" she spun around and swatted at him with her hands. She had seen him before…he was a football player. She watched as he smirked and walked away, straight towards her best friend…or former best friend. She shook her head before turning around again and going back to the same position she had been in. She stayed like that until the bell rang and she heard nothing in the halls. It was then that she lifted her head and closed her locker. The back of her hands wiped the tears from her face as she walked down the hall and towards her first period class. She didn't care about being late...at the moment she was tempted to turn around and go home…back to the safety or her room and her bed. But she didn't do that…she wanted to be stronger than that, so she walked into her first period and avoided the looks and remarks.

She shut herself off from everyone for the next few periods. The looks and words didn't cease and there was nothing she could do but sit there and take it. She just wished she knew what she had done wrong. Everything had been fine the day before until lunch and then things had just changed out of no where and it was putting her head in a whirl every time she tried to figure out why. She kept trying, but she kept coming up with nothing. She watched the clock anxiously the period before lunch. She just wanted to see Nathan. Despite the growing distance between them he still manage to make her days better. She allowed a small smile to grace her face when the bell finally rang. She once again ignored everyone in the halls and made her way towards the cafeteria. She was almost there when someone grabbed her arm. Her body immediately tensed…Nathan never grabbed her. She snapped her head to the side and relaxed when she saw Mouth standing next to her. She soon grew worried again however, when she caught sight of his hesitant face.

"Hey Peyton, I didn't mean to scare you" his voice was gentle and she knew he was hiding something.

"It's okay" she mumbled quietly. She wanted to trust him…he was Mouth…he wasn't like the rest of them…but she still couldn't be sure. She couldn't be sure of anything at all.

"Peyton I have to tell you something" his eyes held nothing but worry and it made the breath catch in her throat…what did he know that she didn't?

"Okay…" her voice was barley about a whisper…she wasn't sure if she really wanted to know what he was gunna say.

"I was in the boy's locker room this morning and…your house and cell number are written on the wall…it says call me for a good time, love Peyton." She looked at him disbelievingly. "It's in all the boy's bathrooms too…I'm sorry Peyton. I …I just though you should know" he was worried about her…he had been since first period when he first saw the message, and his worries only increased throughout the days as he heard guys talking about it.

She tired to say something to him…to at least thank him for telling her, but there were no words that escaped her mouth. After a few seconds she gave up. She shook her head as the tears began to build, and she turned away from him. Her feet carried her in the opposite direction of the cafeteria. She didn't wanna go in there…too many people…too many for her to ignore right now. It made sense why that guy had grabbed her this morning. The more she thought about the more her stomach knotted. Before she knew it she was nearly running down the halls, her vision blurred by rapid tears. She rounded a corner that would bring her further away from people. Unfortunately she ran directly into someone, nearly knocking them both.

"I'm sorry" she mumbled, her voice cracking with each word.

"Peyton…" she looked up to find Nathan warm yet worried eyes gazing back at her. She closed her eyes before throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face into his chest. All he could do was wrap his arms tightly around her. He had seen her number written in both the locker room and in two of the bathrooms. He had tired to get it off but it was to no avail.

"What did I do" her voice was muffled by his shirt. He didn't have an answer for her…as far as he knew she hadn't done anything wrong.

"Come on…let's get you out of here okay…" She nodded into his chest and he proceeded to lead her outside.


	11. Someone To Care

She sat with her knees pulled up to her chest, tears falling silently from her eyes. She hugged her knees with her thin arms and stared at nothing in particular, just the calm ocean in front of her. He was right next to her, one leg extended and the other bent. He wasn't sure whether to push or leave her alone so he just stared too…at her.

"I keep going through everything I did yesterday…but there's nothing. How could I have done something to Brooke without even seeing her." Her tone was even and her eyes stayed focused. Nathan couldn't be sure whether she was even talking to him to or to herself. It wouldn't have made a difference though…he had no clue what had set Brooke off either.

"I don't know Peyt…none of this is really making sense." He shook his head and let his eyes follow her gaze. He couldn't look at her anymore, it was tearing his heart apart. He had never seen her so fragile before. He thought it couldn't get any worse then when the whole ordeal with Jake occurred…but then Lucas happened and now this.

"I don't know what to do Nathan…I wanna fix this but I don't know how. Everything just feels so up in the air and out of my control."

"Maybe you didn't do anything wrong at all…I know she's your best friend but maybe Brooke's just being Brooke. Maybe she saw or heard something and took it the wrong way…she does have tendency to do that."

"I don't know" the blonde shook her head in defeat before dropping her head on her arms, which were folded across her knees. She looked at him briefly before closing her blood shot eyes. "I just want it to go away…all of it"

"I'm sorry" it was all he could say to her. Nothing would make her feel better and he apologized for that. He would do anything to help her…to make her feel just a little more secure.

"Why is that I'm not good enough for anyone" he watched as the tears came cascading down, much harder than before.

"Why would think that…" his eye focused on her…waiting. He was happy that she talking but not happy about what she was feeling.

"Nate…my dad doesn't even wanna be around me. He's always gone...he says it's for the money…but I'd rather have him here and he has to know that. But its too hard for him to be here, so he goes out on his boat for months at a time forgetting that its just as hard for me to be here…by myself."

"Your dad loves you and he's just doing what he thinks is best….he might be wrong…but that doesn't mean he doesn't care about you."

"Sometimes I'm not so sure about that" she wanted to badly to believe what Nathan was saying but a part of her just couldn't do it. He wiped tears from under her eyes with the pads of his thumbs. "My best friend apparently chose Haley over me now they both hate me. My best friend Nate…the one person I thought I could always count on to be there and she doesn't want anything to do with me."

"Brooke will eventually get rid of whatever's stuck up her ass…so will Haley. Just give it some time."

"I don't think time's gunna do it Nate…even when the whole love triangle from last year happened she wasn't like this. She was pissed at me, but she didn't go out of her way to make me miserable." The blonde shook her head as more tears fell. "He was the only thing that ever made us fight, but this can't have anything to do with him now…I don't talk to him. He chose her and he told her that so she can't be mad at me because of him"

He could hear the disappointment in her voice ahs she said the last part. The pain Lucas had caused her was still fresh in her mind. The pain had not even began to subside and he wanted nothing more than to hurt his brother…badly. He had been pissed at Lucas before summer even began…but now he ashamed to know they shared the same blood.

"Everyone always leaves…they leave me." Her voice broke him out his thoughts. He wanted to say something to tell her differently, but she continued speaking. "They always choose someone of something over me. My dad chose his job, you chose Haley, Lucas chose Brooke, Jake chose Jenny…which makes sense but still. That's the second time he's walked away from me and completely forgot about me. Brooke and Haley chose each other. And wanna hear something funny…Karen and I were getting close…but in the end she chose Brooke over me too. God…am I that hard to care about?"

He cupped her face in his hands and forced her to look at him. "I care about you…a lot. I didn't choose Haley…I chose you…that's why I'm here now with you…not with her…or anyone else…I'm with you" Her eyes closed tightly as she pulled away from him.

"I'm losing everyone…you included." He cured himself because he knew it was his fault she felt that way. He had been distant without giving her a reason.

"You're not losing me Peyton" She shakes her head before turning away from him. For her there was nothing worse then feel this weak…feeling like she had no control over her life anymore and no one to help her get control back.

"Peyton…" his voice was gentle but she kept her head turned…she didn't wanna look at him. She didn't want him to try and make her feel better…she'd rather him just be honest. He was avoiding her and she didn't want any excuses.

He placed his finger gently under her chin and forced her to turn her head and face him. He waited until she locked eye with him before he repeated his words. "You are not losing me…I promise you that." She wanted so badly to believe that…but she didn't know how. His words and his voice both sounded so sincere but so had Lucas's last year when he fed her line after line about wanting and needing her. How was she supposed to believe Nathan when everything from last year was the reason she was hurting so much now.

"Nathan…I" she couldn't find the words to say what she wanted to say…not that she knew what she wanted to say anyway.

"Pey…I'm sorry that I've been so distant lately…I don't mean to be…I…I've just had a lot going through my mind lately…I didn't mean to take it out on you…to let it affect us like this."

"You keep saying that we're fine…that I'm not losing you but I am Nathan. Everything keeps changing…including us…we're drifting apart Nate…I can feel it."

"Pety…"

"No…we are…maybe you can't see it but I am losing you…more and more each day…and maybe you don't mean for it to happen but it is." She shook her head as her eyes closed. She turned her neck and faced foreword again. She was scared to open her scared…scared to let anymore tears break free. She tried to hold through but even through closed lids water crept down her flushed cheeks and dripped from her chin.

His breath caught in his throat as he looked at her. It was a swift and gentle movement that made her open her eyes. It was a simple kiss that made both their hearts pound. He pulled away seconds later and they locked eyes. He tried to read her but there was nothing, she was just staring back. He hadn't planned on doing that…he wasn't supposed to do that, but he had. He expected to get up and run away or to slap him…but she didn't…she just sat there…looking at him. He found himself slowly leaning back in towards her. He stopped barely and inch away from her and when she didn't move away he closed the distance between them. His tongue slowly traced the edge of her bottom lip and she felt him smile when her lips parted.

The thought of having more with him had never crossed her mind…but for the first time in a while things just felt right.


	12. Finally Happy

"I've been dying to do that for the past month" he smiled gently at her as they broke apart. His forehead rested against hers as he placed his hand on her check, his thumb wiping away the remaining tears.

"What…" she looked at him strangely, how had she not known.

"That's why I've been so distant…at first I didn't know what I was feeling and then when I figured it out I was scared to ruin our friendship. I'm sorry Peyt…" She shook her head with a soft smile playing on her lips.

"Don't be…its okay" an unbelievable weight had just been lifted form her shoulder and for the first time she realized just how much her relationship with Nathan meant to her. She caught the smile that slowly began to grow on his face and eventually turned into a laugh. "Okay…did I miss something"

"I…I'm just happy…I honestly never…I don't know…I'm just happy" she shook her head once again and joined in with his laughs.

"I think you said that already"

"So…I'll say it again….and I'll keep saying it till I lose my voice cuz its true." She leaned in and kissed him. She had been so lonely lately and all this time Nathan had been there…right there in front of her and somehow she just never put two and two together.

"Come on…" he said as he pulled away and stood up. He reached his hand down and helped her up, they had done that countless times over the summer, but this time neither of them let go. She looked down at their intertwined fingers and couldn't help but smile.

They walked along the shoreline quietly. For the first time in months she was just calm…satisfied with her life at that very moment. She grasped his hand tighter causing him to look down at her. He smiled gently before leaning down and kissing her lightly on the forehead. "Is everything alright" he stopped them from walking any further as her awaited her response.

"Yeah…" she looked down briefly, avoiding his eyes as she contemplated asking the questions that was starting to plague her mind. "Nathan…where does this leave us…I mean…" she paused, she wasn't really sure what she meant.

"Wherever you want it to." He wasn't about to push her. He was content with wherever they were at right now…with her knowing how he felt and not running away.

"So are we friends, more than friends" she paused again. "are we dating" there was a slight sign of hope in her voice as she referred to their last option, and Nathan could hear it. The youngest Scott smiled to himself as he turned his head to the side and bit him bottom lip. "Nathan Scott…are you blushing" she smiled as she rubbed her free hand against his cheek, turning his face back towards her. She pressed her lips against his again. Each could feel the other smiling through the kiss. His rested his forehead against hers as they broke apart.

"Dating…definitely dating" his voice was barley above a whisper. "You're okay with that right"

"Yes" she nodded against him, but he noticed when her smile slowly started to fade. "Nathan…can we…can we not make this public. With everything going on already…I'm scared that it's gunna get worse if everyone finds out."

"You're worried about Haley and I get that, but she won't be happy unless we stop talking all together and I don't wanna do that. Besides…hiding this will only be harder. Secrets like this always end badly Peyt." He cupped her face in hands. She knew he was right, but that didn't make her any less worried.

"I know" she whispered before he wrapped her in his arms.

"Its okay…we don't have to say anything" he rested his chin among her curls. He held back the sigh that was threatening to escape his lips. He wanted so badly to let everyone know they were together…to tell everyone how happy he was…but he understood why she was hesitant. Besides, he was okay so long as they were together…it wasn't necessary for others to know.

"No…I don't wanna hide from them." She could feel him smile and it made her smile as well. He walked her home after they spend a few more hours on the beach. He didn't stay the night, although he wanted to. Instead he kissed her gently on the lips before watching her retreat into her house.

He picked her up every morning for the next few days. Throughout the school day she was faced with the same problems as before, the name calling and whispers behind her back, the snide and snippy remarks and evil glares. But she made until lunch each day and that's when she saw Nathan. He had a way of making everything before hand disappear, of making her days better. It wasn't until the second Friday of the school year that the couple finally went public. They hadn't hid it before, but they had acted them same as they had the first days of school, as if they were just friends. He was moving at a rate she was comfortable with and everything was done on her terms.

They walked into school that day side by side, the same as every other day. The routine was the same, they went to his locker and then to hers. The difference in the morning came when they parted ways to go to first period. He hugged her gently and kissed her cheek. It was as he began to pull away that she chose to shock him. She placed her hand behind the nape of his neck and pressed their lips together. The kiss was brief, but it was enough to make Nathan's heart race as well as hers. He smiled as they pulled apart and she smiled back. "Let me walk you to class" he grabbed her hand and gripped it tightly.

"I'd like that…boyfriend" she chose not to whisper the words, making his smile grow even wider. The started walking and ignored the stares from the scattered teens still lingering in the halls. Those teens included a fuming Haley, a disbelieving Brooke, and stunned Lucas.

Peyton's day proceed the same as every other day. When her lunch period came around she was glad to finally see Nathan again, and he was glad to lean in and connect their lips. They stayed close to each other the entire period, ignoring everyone around them. She hated watching him walk away as the bell rang, but she knew he had to, and she in turn turned around and walked in the opposite direction.

She was greeted by the same problems during the rest of the day and was glad when twelfth period finally arrived. Although she had the class with the three people she least wanted to see, it meant there were only 49 minutes until she saw Nathan again. She wanted to sit in the back of the class where she could hide from everyone, but the only seat left in the class when she arrived was near the middle. She sat, slumped in her desk as the teacher started the class. She shifted uncomfortably in her chair as the teacher wrote the words Drug Addiction across the top of the board. This was a topic she was sure to enjoy.

She slid down further in her desk as the teacher droned on and the students took notes. She watched the clock closely, dying to get out of the class. There were ten minutes left, she was almost out of there. She knew Haley and Brooke were staring at her, she couldn't see them but she could feel their eyes burning holes through her back.

"What leads people to become so addicted to drugs that they feel like they need to take them or something?" it was a question from the student in front of her. She was slightly interested in the teachers response. He was about to answer when he stopped and nodded towards the back of the room.

"Yes Miss James…" The teacher placed the chalk on his desk before directing his attention back to Haley.

"First off…it's Mrs. Scott" her voice was harsh and her eyes focused on Peyton for a moment. "Second…maybe that question should be directed to Peyton…after all, snorting cocaine was your after school activity wasn't it Peyt." The blonde swallowed hard as she turned around to look at Haley's smirking face. She turned back around, but not before catching the disbelieving and disappointed look on Lucas's face, as well as the glares from others around the class.

The teacher gave her an off look before starting on a new subject. Peyton sat low in her desk with her head hanging down. She fought back tears for the few reaming minutes of class, but every so often, moisture slipped from beneath her lids and down her paling cheeks.


	13. Great Disappointment, Intense Revelation

He sat on the edge of the bed and waited calmly. She sat on the opposite end of the bed with her head hung low and tears sliding slowly down her flushed cheeks. His eyes never left her but she refused to meet his gaze. They had been sitting in that exact position for almost an hour, neither sure what to do next. She had met him at his car and merely shook her head when he tried to talk to her. She remained silent from that point on, unable to find her voice…or maybe too ashamed to use it. He on the other hand was afraid she would snap at him if he tried to talk to her. Something had happened and it was hurting her badly, but he couldn't help her if he didn't know what the problem was.

He followed his heart and ignored his mind as he reached out and grabbed her hand. For the first time he caught the intense pain displayed in her eyes, and his heart broke for her. He slid his body closer to her and welcomed her into his arms. Her body shuddered in his embrace as she tried desperately to will her tears away. "Peyt…what happened" his voice was gentle and hesitant. The last time he had asked her that question she snapped at him before the words were even out of his mouth. "What did they do…" it was safe for him to assume that this was the result of Brooke or Haley's cruelty.

She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. The blonde shook her head, her curls shielding her tear stained face. "Please talk to me Peyton" he was begging her to let him help her. He wanted nothing more than to see that smile he loved so much grace her face again. Her hated when she cried because her tears were usually the result of something he couldn't fix.

"I can't…" she let her voice drown out as she inhaled deeply and shook her head against his chest. She gave up her fight against the tears and let the water pour from her burning eyes.

"Why not…" he gripped her shoulders and pushed her back. Her eyes met his for a brief second before she fell back into his chest.

"You'll be mad…" the thought made her body shudder again. She was too scared of losing him. He was all she had left.

"No I won't." he ran his fingers through her thick curls. "You can tell me anything Peyton…I promise I won't be mad."

"Then you'll be disappointed." In her eyes disappointment was worse. Nothing hurt like having the people you care about look down on you.

"Peyt…" he didn't know what to say to get her to talk to him. He already knew the only way she would tell him was if she wanted to…coercing her into talking never worked.

"Everything was okay…I mean it was no worse then it has been…but at the end of the day…" she let her voice trail again. This was the hard part, admitting to him that she had screwed up.

"What happened…"

"Haley…we were in health and…she…after making it perfectly clear to the entire class that she was Mrs. Scott…she told them that I…that I was a cocaine addicts." Her voice was low but he still heard her.

Nathan pushed her shoulders back again, forcing her to look at him. "Why would I be mad at you for that…if anything I would be pissed at Haley for being a conniving bitch." He shook his head in a mix of shock and anger. "God…what would make her say something like that" He watched as Peyton's head fell and his breath suddenly caught in his throat.

"Because I've done cocaine." He knew she was going to say it but it didn't shock him any less to hear the actual words leave her mouth. "It was only once but…" he pulled her back into his arms and held her tightly.

"Are you gunna do it again" his voice was quiet but strong as he tired to collect his thoughts. He was grateful to feel her shake her head no. "Then it's done…it's in the past and there's nothing anyone can do about now." He was being distant, she could hear it in his voice and it hurt more then she thought it would.

"You're upset" she closed her eyes and buried herself deeper into his body…a desperate attempt to feel close to him again.

"No…" he shook his head as he kissed the top of her head.

"Worse…you're disappointed." Tears fell harder down her cheeks as she sighed deeply. He wanted so badly to tell her he wasn't but it would be a lie. As much as he tried not to be he was.

"A little…I just…I never though you would be one of those people who would turn to drugs. I guess its just shocking."

"It was a mistake…probably the biggest one I've ever made, but I don't plan on making that mistake ever again" she head him breath a sigh of relief.

"Good…I don't wanna lose you Peyt…especially not to drugs. I'm not gunna reprimand you or anything cause I had my own moment of weakness too. We both just made bad judgments. Okay…"

"Yeah" she whispered into his shirt. He moved away from her and shifted his body next to hers. She watched as he laid back in her bed and motioned for her to follow. She fell back into his open arms and rested her head on his chest, her fingers tracing circles in his shirt.

"I love you..." her heart skipped a beat as she heard the words leave his mouth.

"Nathan…"

"I've always loved you Peyton…that never went away…but now I'm in love with you again and it feels amazing. You don't have to say it back or anything, I just wanted you to know that…okay"

"Okay…" she whispered as his words sunk in. She shifted her body so she was more comfortable as she closed her eyes.

"You aright" he questioned when her heard her sigh.

"I'm fine" she whispered as she began tracing circles on his chest again.

"Okay…" he had been happy enough that she didn't get up and run after her told her…but now he was worried that she was contemplating doing just that.

"Nathan…" she lifted her body up from his and gazed down at him. She leaned in and kissed him gently. He placed his hand on the curve of her back and turned them over so that she was underneath him. He wanted so much for her to stay but he was getting scared. Maybe if he kissed her passionately enough she wouldn't run away from him.

She pulled away from him and rested her head against the pillow. "I love you too" she whispered and watched the smiled the formed on his lips and stretched into his eyes. He leaned down and closed the distance between them. They could each feel to other smile thought the kiss and they were both genuinely happy.


	14. To Forgive and Betray

She sat with her knees bent and her sketch pad sitting on her lap. She had been in that position since Nathan left. It had been an hour and she still didn't have anything to draw. She had watched the second hand on the clock tick around and around, but nothing made her hand move and the minutes just flew by. There was so much going on in her head that she couldn't concentrate enough to sketch anything…no matter how hard she tried. Usually drawing had been her way to release whatever emotional turmoil she was suffering, but now…she knew she was bordering on depression, but there were too many problems for her to choose.

"Hey…" Peyton looked up and was shocked to find Brooke standing in her doorway. The brunette gave a small smile before walking further into the room, her fingers clasped tightly together.

"Hi…" she watched as her the brunette sat on the edge of the bed, immediately starting to play with her hands. "Brooke…" Peyton could hear the heavy sigh that escaped the other girl's lips, both of their faces filling with apprehension.

"I'm sorry Peyton…for the way I've been acting and I'm taking it upon myself to apologize for Haley. She took things kind of far today…well she took things way too far actually." Brooke bit her bottom lip as she stood up again and began pacing the room. Peyton just watched her former friend until she stopped and leaned against the computer stand. "I shouldn't have been such a bitch to you…" tears glistened in Brooke's eyes as she watched Peyton, trying desperately to read the blonde's expression.

"I just don't get what I did to you…Haley I get…but we were okay that morning and then a few hours later you hated me…" Tears burned behind her hazel eyes as she heard Brooke sigh again, watched her shoulders fall as the first tears broke free.

"I didn't hate you…I was just jealous…"

"Of what" the blonde shook her head in confusion, the shook evident in her voice.

"You and Nathan." Between the expression on her face and the tone on her voice, it seemed like it should have been the most obvious response in the world, but Peyton held the same confusion in her features, possibly more. "I mean I know you told me he didn't replace me…but I still felt like her did. Then watching you that morning, and seeing you talk about how much he was there for you…it really seemed like you went and found yourself a new best friend." She looked down towards the floor as she blinked back tears.

"Brooke…that would never happen." Peyton assured her as she stood up and walked closer to the brunette who now had her head hung low. Brooke took a few steps forward and wrapped her arms tightly around Peyton, who gladly returned the hug. "Who could ever replace you…you're B Davis" She could hear her friend laugh gently.

"You promise…" the brunette kept her arms looped tightly around her friend.

"I swear it"

"I'm so sorry P Sawyer…you know I love ya right." She pulled back and winked at the blonde, a bright smile plastered on her face.

"I love ya too" the blonde held the same bright smile as her head tilted to the side.

"Listen…I'm gunna go…but I'll see you tomorrow" her voice seemed almost questioned as she looked at Peyton with hopeful eyes.

"Of course" They exchanged another brief hug before Brooke left the house. Peyton smiled to herself as she resumed her position on the bed. Maybe things would be okay after all.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She woke up the next morning, a frown immediately taking over her features as she recalled the last week of her life. But then she remembered the conversation she had with Brooke last night. She closed her eyes and smiled to herself, a new sense of hope washing over her.

Peyton pulled herself out of bed and made her way towards the bathroom. She wanted to lose herself in a shower before she had to face the day…she may have been back in Brooke's good graces, but she was still going to have to deal with Haley, and the glares from Lucas. He had gone from pleading for her friendship to being bitter because she was with Nathan. She wouldn't allow herself to be hurt by him though…he had hurt her enough already and she refused to waste any more of her time on him.

She stepped into the warm water and breathing in deeply, she let it cascade over her body. She loved hot showers…she could just let go and relax…not think about anything. Unfortunately she couldn't spend forever in there…she had school, a place she dreaded, but she needed to go. Besides, it wouldn't be so bad today…she had Brooke back in her life…her best friend. And then there was Nathan…he helped her get through everyday and she couldn't thank him enough for that.

She stepped out and wrapped a towel around her body before leaving the bathroom. She hummed lightly to herself as she skimmed her closet. She hadn't been in this good of a mood in the morning since the first day of school. It was a welcomed changed. She found in nice to have a positive attitude about the day instead of the pessimistic, grim one she'd been dealing with. She settled on a pair of jeans and plain t-shirt, pulling them down out of the closet and throwing them on her bed, before walking over to her drawers. She sifted through quickly pulled out a black thong and matching bra.

She slipped on the thong and couldn't help but laugh at the thought of having matching underwear. There had been a time not long ago when she didn't care about what undergarments she was wearing. Brooke had chastised her about buy mismatched underwear one of their shopping trips. She remembered her best friend babbling about looking cute when taking off clothes. Peyton simply commented that the only person she was stripping for was Nathan…and he couldn't care less about matching underwear…as long as it was easy to remove. Regardless, Brooke had convinced the blonde that it was vital to always match…even the things people couldn't see, and eventually Peyton began listening to her, partially to get Brooke to stop complaining about…and to see if Nathan would ever pay attention. He never did…things like that just didn't matter to him…but she continued to wear it anyway, and now, thanks to Brooke's persistence, it had become habit. She didn't think about matching, her hands just automatically did it for her.

She walked back to the other side of the bed and reached for the lotion on her night stand…lotion she and Brooke had purchased together before Brooke left for California. She didn't use it often because it was scented, but she did today. She let the towel drop before messaging the cream onto her legs. She hadn't realized just how much she missed Brooke…not until now when everything bought her thoughts back to the bubbly brunette. She spread lotion over her arms, the lavender scent penetrating her senses. She reached for her bra and nearly dropped it when her sound erupted from her speakers. She saw an IM on her screen and smiled slightly…it was something she and Brooke used to do all the time, instant message each other before school, granted they hadn't don't it since early last year, it was nice to know the brunette hadn't forgotten simple things like that.

She pulled the bra straps over her shoulders as she neared her computer. Her smile faded slightly when she noticed that it wasn't Brooke's screen name…in fact she didn't even know who the screen name belonged to, and she needed to accept the message before she could read it. With her focus still on the adjusting her straps, she used her free hand to accept the message, her eyes flickering back and forth to the screen until the all to familiar square box popped up.

Ravens999: Turn off ur web cam.

She scanned over the message and went back to messing with the uneven straps before the words actually registered in her head. Her eyes darted over to the small camera sitting on her computer stand, and there it was, the red light blinking steadily. Her hand instantly reached behind the computer and yanked out the thin cord. She hasn't used her camera for the past two weeks, it's been off and covered. Her mind flashes back to just last night, she tired to shove the imaged out, but all she can see is Brooke standing over by the computer, her hands behind her back.

Tears sprung to her hazel eyes, all the happiness and comfort draining out of her. Her legs carry her towards the bed and she slips her shirt on, followed by her jeans. Buttoning her jeans seems to have become the most difficult task in the world, the tears blurring her vision and her hands trembling. She pulls a sweatshirt out of her closet and slips it over her head. It's warm outside, boarding on hot, it had been all week, but she suddenly does feel comfortable in just a t-shirt. She had swore to herself that she wouldn't let them win, wouldn't let them break her, but they had given her hope, only to cruelly rip it away, and she fell right into their trap, let them do this to her.

Sure she had accidentally changed in front of her cam before. She had never actually been nude in front of it before, but that wasn't what was really bothering her. It was the fact that a girl she once called her best friend would actually stoop that low. She knew Brooke could get nasty, but as far as she knew, she hadn't done anything to the girl. Sound echoed from her speakers again and she glanced towards the computer just as the sound came through quite a few more times. She doesn't need to be close to her computer to see what most of them say. It's written in different variations, but for the most part it's people, guys complaining about the show coming to an end. She watched the screen fill with messages and request to accept messaged, the same dull ding reverberating throughout her room. The tears pour rapidly from her eyes, she's trying desperately to stop them, but just as she thinks she's got it under control another message pops up. She knows the latest screen name, hasn't seen in since ninth grade, but she knows it well, and the writing is big and bold, making it easy for her to read from across the room.

bstkeptsecret: aww…no more show….now everyone's complaining!

It was official…her best friend had done this…and told people to watch. She walked back over to her desk and turned off the monitor… she didn't want to see that screen anymore, it was making her sick. She trudge back over to the bed, collapsing onto the ruffled sheets, her legs curling up her chest. Her body shuddered harshly, tears staining her cheeks as she buried her head under her arm. She was falling apart, physically starting to hurt from crying so hard, but she couldn't stop.

She felt the bed sink next to her and suddenly there were arms wrapped tightly around her waist, pulling her body closer. He was here with her, normally it would've been enough to make her feel better, but now it wasn't doing anything. Nathan couldn't save her from this…he couldn't make them stop… he couldn't stop it from hurting like this.

"Peyton…" his voice was gentle as curled herself into a tighter ball. "What happened?" She had called him last night…told him and she and Brooke made up…if that was the case, why was she crying…she had sounded so happy last night and now she was crying much harder than she had in the past two weeks. But she didn't respond to him. The only sound he heard came from her computer speakers. He kept his eye on her and she seemed to shudder at the sound when it went off again.

He dropped a kiss on her head before getting up and walking over to her computer. He turned the monitor on. He watched the screen slowly come into focus, and was shocked to find her desktop covered with instant messages. All of them mentioned some kind of show, he knew a lot of the names, but seeing Brooke's screen name form ninth grade struck him as odd…her comment seeming vindictive and taunting. He glanced back toward the bed, Peyton's body still shuddering…it had to have something to do with this, but what he couldn't figure out.

"She turned on the camera last night" her came out weak and high pitched, her arm still over her head. "It's the only reason she came" He turned to look at the distraught blonde again, his eye catching the discarded towel on the floor. His jaw dropped slightly as everything started to make sense…everything except what possessed Brooke to do this.

He kneeled down in front of her, taking her trembling hands in his. "Peyton…you have to fight them…don't let them walk all over you. If they know how much they're getting to you then they won't stop. They wanna break you…don't let them" Her eyes shut tightly as a chocked sob escapes her lips.

"Nathan I can't do this" she whimpers

"Yes you can…and I'll be with you every step of the way. Peyt…even if it's just you getting up and going to school today…it means they didn't win…that their plan didn't work"

"I can't" she shook her head as she broke eye contact with him, her body rocking back and forth.

"I'll bring you right back home if it's too much…I just want you to try. If they don't know that they're hurting you then there's no point in this for them, and they'll stop" He gripped hands tighter, leaning in closer to the bed.

"What if they don't…what if thing just get worse…you don't know Brooke"

"Yeah I do…she's weak person who pretends to be strong…she thrives on other people's pain because then she feels better…she's just a hurt little girl that wants everyone to be as miserable as she is. If they keep going…then you fight them back…don't you dare let Brooke Davis break you." His hands move to either side of her face, the pads of his thumbs wiping under her eyes. "Peyton please…I just don't wanna see you like this…I can't fight this for you…I wish I could…I'd do it in a second…but I can't. You have to be the one to fight this…you have to make them stop…all I can do is support you. I'll be there with you through all of it Peyton…I swear I will…but you have to take the first step." Tears are glistening in his eyes because it hurts to see her like this…to not be able to do anything about it…to not be able to protect her from this. He would love to go confront Brooke and Haley…to make their lives a living hell, but he knows how Brooke operates, if he fights Peyton's battle it'll just give them something else to throw in her face…another reason to mock her. So he has to sit back and wait…wait for Peyton to find that fire she once had, because he can remember a time when Peyton's bark alone was far worse than Brooke's bite.

"Okay" her voice is far from strong, but she places her feet on the ground and they stand up together. He pulls her into his arms, letting her head fall into his chest.

"I'm proud of you Peyton" his lips brush lightly across her forehead.

"But I haven't gone anywhere…I don't even think I'm gunna make it through the day right now." She throws her head back and tries desperately to push back the tears.

"Look at me..." he waits until he's caught her gaze again and it's then that he smiles at her, it's not a bright smile, but its sincere. "You got up…you might not make it out the car…but you're trying. Because of that I'm proud of you…and because of that…you're stronger than Brooke Davis will ever be"


	15. Another's On There Side

They walked into school together, his arm wrapped securely around her shoulders, keeping her safe next to him. He sees it before she does, but he doesn't have enough time to try and distract her. He can feel her flinch when she sees Brooke and Lucas walking hand in hand down the hallway, and then again when Brooke smirks as Peyton looks away. She knows that she shouldn't care, that she has Nathan, but she can't deny that a part of her is still hurting at the thought of Lucas running back to Brooke. It hurts to know that he just keeps on lying to her, telling her one thing only to run off to her once best friend. As the two couples pass each other the Brooke mutter 'whore' under her breath and Nathan wants nothing more than to lash out at her, but he forces himself not to, forces himself to remember that this is Peyton's battle, he can't fight is for her, he can only help her through it.

"You okay…" his gaze shifts down to her just as she looks back up. She doesn't say anything, just nods against his chest. "Do you want me to take you home…we don't have to stay"

"No…it's fine. I can't run from them forever right" She forces a laugh as they approach her locker. "Besides, they deserve each other" he can't help but smile because for the first time in days she sounds sure of herself.

"Yeah they do" he kissed her forehead lightly before letting her go so she could get into her locker. "So what's on the agenda later"

"More cocaine parties and peepshows. I always thought you were into girls with more class Nate…what happened, couldn't find what you were looking for so you're settling for drugged out white trash now."

"Why don't you go back to Chris Keller" Peyton turned to face the girl she has once called a friend.

"Why don't you go find a guy who's not taken…but then again you never did want them when they were available." Haley rolled her eyes before taking off down the hall. The blonde bit her bottom lip before turning back to her locker to grab her books.

"I'm sorry about her…I wish I could make it stop." He wrapped his arms around her waist.

"It's not your job to apologize for her Nate…none of this is you're fault. I get that she's pissed off and hurting, but I didn't do this to her, she did it to herself. I'm tired of Haley trying to play Queen B when she's never come close to filling those shoes. I have no problem putting Haley back in her place when it comes to social status. It's Brooke that bothers me. Haley has nothing to use against me so she'll keep recycling the same cruel words, but Brooke…she'll cross lines that Haley won't without a second thought, she already has. Haley might go along with what Brooke comes up with, but she's not the one masterminding this whole thing."

He can hear the anger in her voice as well as the pain she's trying so desperately to conceal. He knows as well as anybody else that Brooke Davis can be downright evil when she wants to be. She knows how to dig a knife in deep when she's ready…she did it to him with the dare she dished out the night of the party his dad threw. "Everyone knows how Brooke gets and none of them stand up to her because she'll tear them to shreds, but you know how to rip Brooke apart, so why don't you. Peyton, every time you two have gotten into a fight she raises all hell, but the minute you stand up to her she backs down…"

"But I don't know what I did to her this time…" the strength she had moments ago has vanished, it's like it was never there.

"You didn't do anything to her"

"Yes Brooke can be bitch, but she always has some sort of motive behind it, it doesn't have to be a good or respectable motive, but there's always a motive. There has to be something that set her off."

"What if there's nothing this time…" He kept his arms around her waist as she close her locker and turned to face him.

"There's always something…" she looked down as he leaned in and kissed her forehead gently.

"One day you're gunna have to cut whatever it is that's got you tied so tightly to Brooke Davis."

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore" she watched him sigh, but he didn't say anything, only wrapped his arm around her shoulder again and walked her to class. If it hadn't been for her lunch period with Nathan, the 50 minutes she got each day to be away from what she considered hell, she's not sure if she would've made through the day, definitely not through the week. If he hadn't gone straight to her house after school everyday she's almost positive that she would still be sitting in her closet with her knees pulled up to her chest and tears streaming down her face. Whitey had kept him late one day, and that's where he found her two weeks after the incident with the webcam. Haley she could deal with, Brooke she could tolerate, but having the majority of the senior class harassing her was more than she could handle.

Two girls had managed to turn everyone against her, not her and Nathan, just her, and she still doesn't know why any of it is happening. All she knows is that for the past two weeks she's spent every evening crying in Nathan's arms while her house and cell phone ring incessantly. She can't just keep them off because her dad's started calling her more often, and she doesn't want him to worry if he can't reach her. Nathan stopped going home at night, refusing to leave her alone. She stopped going online, but her email address has been given out to just about everyone so guys can keep requesting another show and girls and call her a whore…so people she doesn't know can keep telling her that it would all be easier if she just killed herself, and she can't deny that she's toyed with the idea more than a few times since this whole thing started.

He knows that things have only gotten worse, and the more Peyton shuts herself away from him, the more he wonders if a public relationship was really a good idea. So as he sits on her bed with her sleeping uneasily in his arms he can't help but wonder if things would be better for her if they just remained friends. The phone ringing startles him out of his thoughts and as usual after looking at caller ID and not seeing her father's number, he presses talk only to press the off button less than a second later. Less than a minute later the phone rings again, another unknown name and number flashing across the screen and he repeats his actions again. Minutes later the phone rings again and his anger gets the best of him because he knows she doesn't deserve this, any of it. "Look you sorry son of bitch if you don't stop…"

"Nathan, it's me, Mouth." He can hear the sigh coming from the youngest Scott.

"Hey, I'm sorry for screaming at you…" his eyes glance down at the blonde still sleeping in his arms, glad that he hadn't woken her up.

"It's okay. Her cell phone is off so I got the house number from off the wall…I just wanted to see how she was doing." Concern is laced through each of his words.

"Honestly…not good. The stress is giving her migraines now…it's just not really bad Mouth."

"I tried to clean her number off the walls, but they just started writing it down in permanent marker, so now it only fades."

"Thanks for trying Mouth, she'll be happy that you're not against her like everyone else. She's sleeping now but I'll tell her you called." It feels good to know they have someone else on their side, someone who's not trying to make her life hell.

"Take care of her Nate, she needs you, and she doesn't deserve this."

"I'm trying, it's just hard…and she's pushing me away now."

"Just keep trying and be there for her…it means more to her than you realize. I'll talk to you guys later."

"Bye" he hung up the phone and leaned his head back against the headboard. How had all of this happened?

"Big house, no parents…seems awfully familiar. Front doors locked, but the back door was open…which means your security tactics suck…that's only proven by the fact that you didn't hear me come in…I could've been a serial killer, and then both of you would've been dead." He watched the redhead lean against the doorframe while she spoke.

"What are you doing here Rachel? Don't use Peyton as some kind of leverage against Brooke."

"You mean like that whole the enemy of my enemy is my friend thing" her arms stayed crossed over her chest as she raised a brow.

"Exactly like that. Everyone knows that you took Peyton's place on the squad and ever since then you and Brooke have been at each other's throats." Nathan glared at the girl in the doorway.

"That true, but that's not why I'm here." She pushed herself off the door frame and made her way toward the bed. "Believe or not I've dealt with some of the stuff Peyton's dealing with now, which is nothing short of torture. This isn't about me not liking Brooke, this is about me not agreeing with what Brooke and your ex-wife are doing. Granted I don't know Peyton, but from the looks of her room and I think I would've liked her, besides I'm pretty sure I know how she feels."

"And what makes you so sure…" he counted as he glanced between the two girls.

"What they're doing to her Nathan…it's abuse…it might now be physical but it might as well be…and I've been a victim of this kind of abuse before. No one deserves this…not even someone like Brooke Davis would deserve this…so that's why I'm here. I'm legitimately on Peyton's side in this whole thing. I know she has you and all, but if she ever needs someone else to talk to, just tell her I'm here and this bimbo might just know what to say." She lifted herself off the bed and started toward the door.

"Hey Rachel…" she turned back to face him, the usual smirk not present on her face. "…thanks"

"Maybe I'm not as bad as everyone thinks I am"

"Or as bad as Brooke Davis makes you out to be…"

"That too…" she shrugged her shoulder before turning back around and letting herself out of the Sawyer residence.

* * *

**So I don't really like this chapter, but I needed some kind of transition chapter to get a few weeks to pass. Sorry for delay, but I'be had alot of papers and reading for school. I hoping to get this story finished before spring semester starts.**


	16. You've Got A Friend In Me

"You'll never believe what just happened to me…" Peyton looked up from her food to find Nathan sliding onto the open bench next to her.

"What…" she forced a smile at the smirk on his face. He grabbed a fry off her tray and took a bite before smirking again.

"Okay, get this….you how know I'm always this cool and composed guy right." He watched her roll her eyes but give a slight nod in his direction. "Well I'm walking into the cafeteria and I swear I almost had a heart attack. I was just looking around and then I saw this girl and she took my breath away…she was drop dead gorgeous, I mean absolutely beautiful, and from what I hear she has this amazing heart of gold too. So after I finished drooling and I decided that I just had to kiss her." He leaned in and quickly stole a kiss, the shy smile still in place on the blonde's face when he pulled away. "That was just as good as I thought it would be"

"What would I do without you Nathan Scott…" he wrapped an arm securely around her thin shoulders and pulled her body closer to his, the evil glares directed at them, the snide remarks dished out under people's breath as they passed the table, all of it not fazing the couple one bit as they sunk into their own world, one where it was just them.

"I don't know…but we're never gunna find out, 'cause I don't know what I'd do with out you, but I see myself being very miserable." She tilted her head up and their lips met once again.

"Okay can we lose the PDAs before I lose my appetite…thanks." The redhead slid into the seat across from them, a overly sweet smile plastered on her lips.

"Because we all live to please you Rachel…" Peyton dropped her head to the side with one of her brows cocked up.

"Glad to see you catch on quickly." Peyton just scoffed as she shook her head, Nathan laughing lightly. He was glad that Peyton and Rachel had been getting along so well over the last two weeks, the blonde needed something positive for a change, and Rachel always seemed to find a way to make things seem at least close to normal. "Not hungry again…" the redhead questioned and she poured dressing onto her salad. Peyton shrugged before shaking her head. She glanced down at the plate of food, the only thing missing off her plate were the fired Nathan had been eating.

"You haven't been hungry for the past three weeks Peyton…" Nathan interjected lightly and just as he expected, the blonde rolled her eyes and looked away from him.

"Maybe I just don't feel like eating…" they could both hear the bitterness in her voice.

"But you have to eat something, whether you feel like it or not, you've got to start eating again…" He watched as she pulled away from him completely, both worry and regret flashing in his eyes.

"I'm fine Nathan, my eating habits are one thing I don't need you worrying about" She scuffed as she got up from the table, grabbing her bag and storming out of the lunch room. Nathan watched her leave before turning his attention to Rachel.

"What the hell just happened…" Lost couldn't even touch what he was feeling right now, that was the first time him and Peyton had fought, and it was over food…it just didn't sit right with the youngest Scott.

"Do you know what the literal meaning anorexia nervosa is Nate?" He gave her a confused look before shaking his head with a small sigh.

"Yeah, who doesn't…it's when someone stops eating, and I've been through enough health classes to know it's a control issue, it's not actually about losing weight…" He rubbed his hands roughly over his face. "You think Peyton's anorexic?" He tired to make it sound like the idea was absurd, but they could hear the hesitation in his voice.

"I'm almost positive she is. Look, today when someone's classified as anorexic it means that they need to have some sense of control in their lives…but the literal meaning of anorexia nervosa is nervous loss of appetite."

"You've lost me…" he sighed in frustration.

"Figure I'd have to put extra effort into explaining this to a jock" had it been anything else they were talking about he would at least cracked a smile or giving a playful scowl, but this time the glare he shot her way was serious. "Put it this way, when I get depressed I tend to eat, it's not that I'm really hungry or anything, I just find food comforting. When Peyton gets depressed, and I'm pretty sure it's safe to say she currently is…she doesn't eat. It's not because she has this sudden drive to control her weight, it's because she's actually not hungry."

"How do you know it's not a control issue, it could very easily be that too…"

"Because she eats when she's feeling happier than usual, when she's not sitting in a cafeteria full of people who spend the majority of the day making her miserable. I've been out with her and she'll be eating and then someone calls her phone and suddenly her appetite is gone."

"But this is better than the other one right, I mean this will go away won't it…" He looked hopeful, but for only a second because the hesitant look in the redhead's eyes gave him his answer.

"It all depends on how long she stays like this…the problem is that unlike a control oriented anorexic she's not fighting hunger, and since she's not hungry she's not fighting any urge to eat. This isn't really something a psychiatrist can fix; you can't make someone into a binge eater."

"So what am I supposed to do…how do I help her…" He looked up to find Rachel's normally sarcastic demeanor gone, an apologetic look in her eyes. His answer was given in the nonexistent response he received…nothing…he could do nothing different than what he was already doing.

For this first time in over a month Nathan had gone straight home after school. Peyton had gotten a ride from Rachel, indicating that she still didn't want to talk to him. As he laid in his bed his thoughts stayed on Peyton, wondering what she was doing, if she was okay, whether or not Rachel had stayed with her or if she was alone. The last thing he wanted was for her to be alone, but apparently she was still mad at him. A knock on his bedroom door jarred him out of his thoughts, and he looked up to find the curly headed blonde staring timidly through the crack of the door.

"You didn't answer the front door and it was unlocked so I just let myself in…." He gave her a reassuring smile and watched as she slowly slipped into the room and moved toward the bed.

"When you got a ride home with Rach I assumed you were still upset…" he sat up as she sat on the edge of the bed, her hands resting comfortably in her lap.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier. I just don't know what to do anymore and all of this is so frustrating…" she buried her head in her hands as she felt tears pricking at the back of her eyes.

Nathan moved closer to the blonde, his legs sliding off the bed as his arm slipped around her tense shoulders. "I know it is…I'm worried about you Peyt. I wanna help you and make this easier for you, but I don't know how." He absentmindedly ran his hand up and down her arm as her head fell against his shoulder.

"I don't know what to do anymore...I don't know how to make this stop." She sighed in defeat and finally gave up on trying to hold back her tears, letting them leak slowly down her cheeks. She shivered in his arms and he instinctively pulled her closer, she'd been doing that a lot lately, and it just seemed to get more frequent as the days went by.

"You've gottta eat…" he whispered before kissing the top of her head lightly. He remembers what Rachel told him, and he knows that she's mostly right about everything…but that doesn't mean that he's going to stop trying.

"I know…I…later Nate…just…I promise I will…just later…" she was falling asleep, he knew by the way she had relaxed against him, the way her breathing was slowly becoming steadier.

She stayed at his apartment that night, and she spent the majority of the time curled up on his bed. He had gone to that café to get food while she was asleep and he came back to find her sitting up in his bed drawing. She ate some of the burger he gave her, not because she was hungry though, just to make him happy, to ease his worry a little bit.

The drive to school was quiet, but they were both comfortable. Granted she was worried about how the rest of her day was going to pan out, and he was worried about her…but there was still no tension between the two of them. "We made it though our first fight" He smiled lightly as she returned the gesture and nodded her head in response.

"Considering our history though…I'm not really sure you could call that a fight." She turned to look at him as they pulled into the parking lot.

"Well this a new us, so hopefully we won't have any fights that are much bigger than that." The both climbed out of the car, a small laugh escaping the blondes throat as Nathan slid his arm around her waist.

"I hope you're right. I don't know if I could handle the whole break-up-make-up every other week thing this time around."

"Well you were the one who kept dumping me, one little fight and you were ready to call it quits" she rolled her eyes and shook her head lightly.

"They were not little fights, and even if they were, having little fights every day is enough to count as one huge fight. Besides, you were an ass…"

"Says the bitchy ice queen…and if I was such an ass, then why did you keep coming back…" he glanced down at her with an eyebrow cocked up. He watched her open her mouth to respond but she closed it quickly and stopped walking, tears springing to her eyes. He followed her gaze to find "Annie the Whore" spray painted on her locker. "Annie?" He questioned as he looked back down at Peyton who had pushed her body closer to his.

"It's what you call people who are anorexic…" The both turned to find Brooke with a sickly sweet smile plastered on her perfectly glossed lips.

"Screw you Brooke…" Peyton spat back at her former friend.

"Sorry I don't go that way sweetheart…besides your too busy screwing Nathan…then Lucas, then Jake, then Lucas again…oh and look, were back to boy toy number one..."

"At least you're a dedicated bitch…" Peyton rolled her eyes, determined not to let the brunette see her cry. Nathan glared at the brunette before guiding Peyton past Brooke, who was slightly shocked by Peyton responding to her.

"Said that dedicated whore…" Peyton had never fought back when Brooke was being a bitch to her…their friendship had been on thin ice before, and now, apparently that ice had finally cracked. The brunette stayed in the middle of the hallway and didn't bother to turn around and watch the couple walk away. "Keep going Annie…stay dedicated to this and soon everyone's problems will go away." Peyton cringed in Nathan's embrace but didn't stop walking back toward the front entrance of the school. Brooke heard the murmuring her comment had caused among the students in the hall, and with glazed over eyes the brunette bit back tears and made her way down the hall.

It didn't take long for them to get back to his apartments, and by then the tears she had been holding back had started falling. "I shouldn't be crying over this…it's just stupid words on a locker…" she sat dejectedly on his bed and ran a hand through her curls. "It's not even like it's saying something that true…it's not even a rumor that should hurt me…but it hurts anyway…"

"Any rumor that's not about something positive hurts Peyt, and sometimes even those can hurt." He pulled her up from the bed and wrapped his arms tightly around her small frame.

"I don't know how much more of this I can take Nate…" she buried her head into his chest as she involuntarily shuddered in his arms.

"We'll get through this Peyton….I promise you, things will be okay." He lips hit the top of her head gently before he guided her into the living room. He turned on the television as they fell back on the couch, his arm still securely around her. He wasn't sure whether anything worth watching would be on at the moment or not, but if he could find something that would take her mind of the horrible morning it would due.

She hadn't been the least bit excited about getting up the next morning, but even if it was her senior year, she had to attend classes if she wanted to graduate, and she wasn't about to let Brooke and Haley keep her at Tree Hill High any longer than necessary.

"Ready…" Nathan held her hand tightly and stopped to look at her before they walked into the school.

'No…but I have to go in there eventually…" she bit the bottom of her lip before taking a step forward, Nathan following her lead. She kept her head down as they walked through the halls and toward her locker. But when she looked up to open the locker she was shocked to see the words gone. She looked up at Nathan to see him wearing the same expression. The color wasn't the same as the other lockers, close but not the same.

"Maybe the school took care of it…."

"No…last time I had to get suspended for the school to fix my locker, and they didn't repaint it, they only stripped it. I don't think the school did this...I mean they might have, but I doubt it…" She turned away from Nathan when she felt someone tap her shoulder, and she smiled when she saw Mouth and Rachel behind her. She followed Mouth's gaze and looked down into his open book bag to find a few bottle of spray paint.

"I came in early and took care of it…" He was slightly startled when Peyton threw her arms around his neck, but he soon freed up one of his hands and hugged her back.

"Thank you Mouth" she pulled back and smiled. "You're a good friend…" She watched him blush a little and couldn't help but smile again.

"Now Mouth gets all credit for your locker…but I'd advise you to take a stroll by Brooke's locker later." Rachel smirked from her spot behind Mouth.

"Why in the world would I wanna do that…" the blonde raised a brow.

"Because…everyone already knows that Brooke's a bitch, hell even Brooke knows, but now she has it in writing….nice big red letters." The redhead gave a satisfied smile and earned a quiet laugh from Nathan and a disbelieving look from his girlfriend.

"Rachel…" Peyton shook her head slowly before going back to opening her locker to get her books.

"What…just because you're better than her doesn't mean I have to be" Rachel shrugged while Peyton rolled her eyes, although she couldn't deny that she was amused.

"Hey…it looks like you have such good friends to take care of you Annie…" they all looked over to see Haley smirking in their direction. "I'd just warn of you to be careful, she has a tendency to stab people in the back" the fake smile fell from her face as she turned to walk away.

"Desperate bitch…" the blonde said loud enough for Haley to hear her, as well as the other students in the hall. "…should have gone on her locker…" her voice fell back to it's normal tone as Nathan lips parted slightly in shock. "…and hypocritical whore should have gone on Brooke, and then you could've listed all the guys she's slept with."

"Sorry Peyton…but I can't write that small…" Rachel shrugged her shoulders just as the warning bell rang signaling that they only had a few minutes to get to class.

"And that's my cue to get going…" Mouth zipped up his bag and slung it over his shoulder.

"Aww you're such a nerd…it's cute…" The four of them laughed as Rachel gave Mouth a pat on the shoulder. "I'll see you guys at lunch." The four said their goodbyes as Peyton shut her locker. Nathan kissed her lightly and smiled as he pulled away.

"It's good to see that spark in you again…" He watched her smile shyly.

"It's comes and goes." She forced another smile as he did the same, they both knew the small spark she had would be gone by lunch, it always was.


	17. The Things You Don't Talk About

Her spark had started to fade the minute she and Nathan parted ways before first period. She hated not being able to see him during the class, to have to go through all the tormenting alone. Sure she had Rachel and Mouth with her during some of her classes, but they didn't give her the same strength Nathan did. The fire from this morning had extinguished awhile ago, but it was lunch now and she could lean on Nate for a little while. She was about to round the corner before the cafeteria but stopped when she hear Haley's voice coming clearly from the adjacent hall. The last thing she wanted right now was to be confronted by one of the people who was responsible for ruining her day, repeatedly.

"I have the best news…I've been dying to tell you all morning…" the auburn girl sounded extremely happy, ecstatic even.

"Okay…but hurry up, I've been waiting to eat lunch all morning…" Peyton knew that voice without a second thought; it belonged to her ex best friend. She wanted to turn and walk away, but she couldn't seem to move. She listened as the two girls laughed lightly with one another.

"So you''ll never guess what I heard today. We had a free period because Mr. Blisen didn't show…well half way through the period Tim turns and starts talking to me. According to him, Nate's just using Peyton to make me jealous…he wants to get back together with me, give us another chance, but you know Nathan and his ego…he wanted me to go through what he did first. But he still loves me, he never stopped, just like I never did." She was all but gushing about the news.

"I'd love to say how happy I am go you Hales…but it's Dim…come on. This is the same guy who's still telling the entire school I'm into him…do you really believe anything that comes out of his mouth?" Brooke scuffed loudly.

"I know…I thought the same thing. That was until Nate came up to me earlier and asked how it felt to see him with another girl. I thought he was just being an ass at first but then I thought about what Tim had said during class."

"So she's just a little pawn…hah" Brooke laughed and soon enough Haley joined in. Tears slid down the blonde's face as she let the words float around in her head…all the new thoughts suffocating her as she stood alone in the hall.

"Look like…I knew he didn't love her…" she sounded relieved, like this giant weight had just been lifted from her shoulders

"Does he even care about her?" There was slight bit of shock present in Brooke's voice as she spoke.

"I asked him that actually…he said that they really were friends during the summer, but then he started to see a side of her he didn't like…he didn't really elaborate on it, but he said he kept her as a close friend as a way to get back at me."

"Well his little plan worked because you've been back and forth with the crying and screaming since the start of the school year. Good to here that all that is finally over…" they both laughed lightly. "So can we please go to lunch now that you've shared your news…I'm starving."

"Let's go…" Peyton listened to their heels click as the walked towards the cafeteria. The blonde fell back against the lockers, tears slipping quickly from her eyes. This was the last thing she needed…she wanted to beat the shit out of Brooke and Haley for putting this knot in her stomach. She already knew that she would be getting looks and whispers all through lunch…she couldn't deal with that right now, she couldn't deal with Nathan right now. He was all she had, and apparently she didn't really have him.

She pushed her body off the lockers and made her way down the hall, back in the direction she had come from, away from everyone else. She walked towards the art room, praying that no one would be in there, that she could just have some time to herself.

Brooke walked into the cafeteria with Haley by her side…had it been Peyton they would have been arm in arm. She quickly pushed the thought out of her head; she and Peyton weren't friends anymore…they weren't even close to it.

"Hey…I'll be right back…" Brooke followed her friend's gaze over to where Nathan was sitting by himself. She smirked in Haley's direction before shoeing her off. The petite brunette sauntered over to her ex-husband, a small smile on her face. "Hey Nate…"

"Hi…" he watched her slide into the seat across from him, his eyes quickly scanning the entire room for any sight of his girlfriend. "What do you want Haley…" his eyes settled back on her and watched as a hesitant look came over her face.

"I have to tell you something…and I don't know whether you'll believe me or not…I mean I know I've given you every reason not to. I just don't want you to get hurt…" She reached out to touch his hand, but retracted her arm quickly.

"What could you possibly have to say to me?" He watched her eyes shift down to the table before slowly looking back towards him.

"Peyton's still into Lucas…" She watched him open his mouth to protest but she continued quickly. "She's using you to make Lucas jealous…she wants him to hurt the same or worse then she did."

"Haley will you just stop" He shook his head as he stood up from the table.

"Nathan, you may not wanna believe it, but just ask Lucas…Peyton went up to him today and asked what he saw in Brooke…how he could pick Brooke over her. She started babbling about how she thought they had some connection…she said that she thought he would realize it too when he saw the two of you together…she's manipulating you Nate…"

"You are something else you know that…" He stopped walking away and turned back to face his ex.

"Nathan…" she protested as she too got to her feet.

"Just save it Haley…" He turned again and started walking away.

"If I'm lying, then where is she now Nate? She's always so quick to get here…except today. You're sitting alone and so is someone else…" He followed her gaze over to Brooke who was sitting at a table by herself. "I know we're on really really bad terms right now, but I can't just sit back and watch her hurt you Nathan. I wish I was lying…but if I am then where are they…." She watched his back as he stood a few feet in front of him. "I'm sorry Nate…" She whispered before leaving him standing alone by the table. His eyes shifted back towards the cafeteria doors as he sat back down, waiting for her to walk though, but when the bell rang forty minutes later the only people who had joined him at the table were Rachel and Mouth…and as he looked across the room his heart fell when he noticed his brother was no where in sight either.

The drive home from school was silent and filled with tension. "So I missed you at lunch today…." He glanced over at her from the corner of his eyes and watched as she looked down to the floor.

"I…just had something I had to do…I didn't mean to just ditch you…" She offered a small smile in his direction before turning back to look outside the window. He watched her as they sat at the red light, but when the light turned green he shook his head and continued on to his apartment.

She wanted to question him about what she had heard, but deep down she doesn't really wanna know if it's true or not…neither does he. There was only one question floating through both of their minds…what the hell had happened to them?


	18. Sick and Tired

"You could at least try to be a little more subtle when you stare at my whore of ex best friend…" Lucas snapped his head to face his scowling girlfriend.

"Brooke…do we have to keep going through the same argument…I'm worried about her and no matter what you do or say that's not going to change." He ran a hand roughly through his hair as she gave an exasperated sigh and stood up. She leaned in close to him, her lips hitting his ear as she spoke.

"So go be with her asshole…oh wait, that's right…she doesn't want you…" she rolled her chocolate eyes as she spun around and stalked away from him. He didn't bother to watch her walk away, he simply dropped his head on the table, sighing to himself.

"She doesn't look happy…" he looked up to see Rachel sliding into the seat across from him, a undeniable happiness in her eyes as she watched Brooke storm away.

"Yeah, well…" he didn't bother to finish the sentence, simply let it hang as he wandered back to his thoughts.

"Did you two have a fight…lord knows that all you two ever do…is she still little miss jealous and she finally broke up with you…or did you grow a pair and do it yourself…or are you both too damn scared to be alone…"

"What the hell do you…'cause I'm really not in the mood to play games…" He scuffed with a roll of his eyes, only to have laugh and raised her brows at him.

"Not in the mood to play games…that's seems a bit hypocritical coming from you. I mean all that any of you people have been doing for the past few months is play damn games. If it's not one thing it's another and someone's always getting screwed over and hurt…but don't kid your self handsome…I'm not the one that's been playing the games."

"Excuse me…I'm not messing with anyone…you're the one that came over here starting trouble…" He shook his head before standing up from the table, only to have the red head stand up as well, her body pressed on her hands which were pushing against the edge of the table.

"I'm not here to start anything with anyone…especially not with you…I just came to tell you to call off the damn dogs." There was nothing remotely playful or sarcastic about her demeanor anymore, she now looked as angry as he did.

"I'm not responsible for anything Brooke or Haley does…I'm not the one bothering anybody. Besides maybe if she hadn't hooked up with Haley's husband none of this would be happening."

"Look mister 'my girlfriend hates me because I keep pining after and blatantly staring at her ex best friend'…if you care about her at all…you'll find a way to make it stop. From what I hear, you have a way with words…you can be very convincing when you're ready." Rachel pushed back from the table. "And by the way…Haley _James_ has no claim whatsoever on _ex-_husband…" she smirked quickly before letting her facial expression change into one of pure disgust and walking away from the eldest Scott brother.

"What was that about…" Peyton questioned as soon as Rachel sat back down next to her.

"Oh…nothing really…we just needed to clear some things up" the redhead responded innocently.

"Jealous…" both up them look over at Nathan, who only stared back at them.

"What…" Peyton's brows furrowed as she watched him shrug and stare back down at his food. Neither of them had spoken to each other about what they heard two weeks ago, and things between them were getting increasingly tense. Each of them were attributing the change to the information they had received, not bothering to confront each other about any of it.

Rachel and Mouth had noticed to drastic change too, but neither knew what had caused the rift. No one questioned it anymore because all they ever received were fake smiles and reassurances that nothing was wrong…so now they just acted as though nothing had changed.

"Nothing…I'm just being stupid…" He reached across the table and grabbed her hand in his, squeezing it gently as he smiled at her. He didn't mean to say things like that, he just couldn't stop himself sometimes. Every day he catches his brother staring at Peyton, he doesn't even have the decency to try and hide it. He's been trying to get Haley's words out of his head ever since she spoke them, but Brooke and Lucas are fighting more and more each day and all the fights they've had in the past had to do with Peyton.

"Okay…" He was being an ass, but she didn't have the energy to argue with him right now. She just wanted to get through the rest of the day and get out of the building, possibly go home, curl up under the comforter and fall asleep.

"How much sleep did you get last night…" Nathan looked over at her, no matter what he was always gunna worry about her, and the dark circles under her eyes didn't look good.

"I slept straight through the night actually…" She lied as she pushed the food around on her plate. She hadn't felt well last night, in fact she had been feeling pretty horrible for the past week, but she didn't want anyone hovering over her…there were already worried enough about her loss of appetite.

Nathan's watched her and contemplated calling her out on the lie, but chose to leave it alone. The last thing he needed was another argument between them, they had been fighting over the stupidest things lately. There was just so much tension around them now, and no one was doing anything to fix it. They tired to keep things the way they used to be, but it was getting harder to do as they each found reasons to become increasingly suspicious of the other.

--------------

She sat quietly at the counter in his kitchen, watching as he put away the few bags of groceries they had stopped to pick up on the way from school. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying desperately to ease the severe wave of nausea that just hit her. She could feel the room around her spinning even with her eyes closed, and her ears were starting to ring, the noise getting louder and drowning out he sound of Nathan shuffling through the bags.

"Hey, I'm gunna go lie down for a bit…" she didn't wait for him to respond before she forced her eyes open and stood up. She moved slowly towards the door, her vision still blurry. She stopped walking and reached for anything to support her weight, but came up with nothing within her grasp.

"Peyton…are you okay…" He set the can down on the counter and turned to face the blonde with her hand groping the air. "Peyton…" he called out again, louder this time.

"Nate…I don't…I don't feel so well…" She bit bottom of her lip as the tears started building in her eyes. She took an unsteady step back, Nathan wrapping his arms around her as her back hit his chest. Her head fell against his shoulder, her breathing heavy and unsteady as her eyes threatened to roll.

"Okay…I'm taking you to the hospital…" Despite her mumbled protest, he lifted her effortlessly into his arms and carried her out of the kitchen. His sole thought at the moment was making sure Peyton was okay…everything that had been going on between them lately didn't matter anymore, all that mattered now was her.

His body was on edge the entire ride to the hospital, his eyes constantly glancing in the rear view mirror to check on her as she lay curled up in the backseat. "We're almost there Peyt…just hold on okay…" He could see the hospital in the distance, but it seemed like an eternity before they arrived in front of the ER entrance. As he lifted her into his arms he kept berating himself…he should've made her eat, even when she swore she wasn't hungry, he should've just forced her to eat something.

It's not long before he's sitting alone in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs, his heart racing every time the doors open, hoping to hear someone ask for him, but every time someone else around him gets up. He had never seen her so pale or frightened before, and it bothers him that it took something like this to make them cling to each other the way they used to. "Is anyone here for Peyton Sawyer…" it was an hour later that Nathan was jarred out his thoughts, his head snapping towards the doctor standing in the doorway.

"I am…" he stood up and quickly made his way over to the older woman holding a stack of folders. "Is she alright…"

"Hi, I'm Dr. McKenna. Are you family…"

"No, but I'm the closest she's got to it. She doesn't have anyone else to be here for her but me…" he let out a breath of relief when the lady nodded in understanding.

"Follow me, I'll talk to both of you together…" she offered a small smile before turning around and guided him through the hall of exam rooms. He followed her onto the elevator and up onto one of the main floors, and before long they were standing in front of a closed door. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves as she opened the door. He hesitantly followed her into the room, relief filling him when he saw the pained expression gone from Peyton's face.

"Hey…" the blonde's voice was hoarse as she attempted to smile. He gladly smiled back at her, the adoring look she had grown to miss returning to his eyes. He walked over to her, leaning down to press his lips to her forehead.

"I love you…" it was the only thing he wanted to say to her at moment, he hadn't said it nearly enough over the past two weeks.

"How are you feeling Peyton…" they broke their gaze as they turned to look at Dr. McKenna.

"My stomach still hurts, but mostly I'm just tired, and I still have a headache." Nathan grasped her hand tightly in his as he stood by her side.

"Well the reason for the stomach pain is an ulcer. Have you been under a lot of stress lately?" The question was answered when the blonde averted her eyes and turned her head to the other side. "Severe stress may not cause ulcers, but it makes you highly susceptible to them. Your apparent lack of eating didn't help any." Dr. McKenna gave her a knowing look and the blonde couldn't stop the guilty expression hat crept onto her face.

"I just haven't been hungry…I'm not trying to starve myself or anything…" She was trying to explain herself, trying to stop them from wanting to send her some psych ward because they thought she had an eating disorder.

"That's normal for some people under stress, but you have to learn to eat at scheduled times since your body doesn't tell you when you're hungry." Peyton nodded slowly as Nathan gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "Right now the most you can do is to make sure to eat and to stay calm. We're gunna keep you here for a little while, that way we can monitor the ulcer and your food intake. I'll be back a little later to check on you, and to make sure you ate your dinner."

"Thank you…" the blonde whispered as her doctor offered another smile before leaving the two teens alone. "I'm sorry for putting you through this…"

"Peyt…I should be the one apologizing…" he cut her off as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "You've been stressed out enough as it is, and over these past few weeks I've been ass and making you more even more stressed. It's just that…Haley told me something and I know I should've asked you about it right but, I don't think I wanted the answer…" Now it was her turn to squeeze his hand as she waited for him to explain. "She told me that you were just using me to make Lucas jealous…"

"Wait…what…"She hadn't been sure she wanted to hear what he had to say, but now she was pretty sure she knew exactly what was going on.

"She came up to me during lunch and said that you wanted Lucas and you were just trying to make him jealous…I didn't wanna believe her, but you never showed up to lunch to day, neither did Lucas, and then he was always staring at you and you became so distant…"

"Because I heard her and Brooke saying that you told Haley you were with me to make her jealous." She should have known better, should've expected something like this from them. "I'm sorry…

"No, I should be apologizing…this whole mess could have been avoided…" It rubbed the top of her hand with his thumb and watch as she shook her head.

"I shouldn't have believed them…this is just the kind of thing Brooke would do and I should've known better then to fall right into her trap"

"But I should've just talked to you about it when Haley first approached me…" He watched her open her mouth to speak again, but cut her off by placing his lips on hers. "We are not arguing over whose fault this is…and who should be apologizing. We're both sorry for not communicating better, but it's Brooke and Haley's fault." She gave a small smile, doing her best not to think about losing two of her friends.

It's a few hours later that one of the nurses forces him to leave, and although he wants to spend tomorrow with her, she tells him to go to school and come see her afterwards. "I'll do you one better…you'll see me during lunch…" he kisses her gently on the lips and then on the forehead. If he could, he would stay by her side until she was released, but neither the nurses nor Peyton would ever let him do such a thing.


	19. Time Can't Heal All Wounds

She's been sitting in the same position for the past hour, just watching the clock, each passing minute making her more anxious. She's got four days left before her release, she should be happy, but in actuality going home is the last thing on her mind. She knows Nathan will walk through the door in the next five to ten minutes…he's like clockwork when it come to his visits…and when he does come in she knows she can't waste any time, because if she allows him to do anything sweet and romantic she'll lose her nerve.

The turning of the metal handle causes the blonde to shift her gaze to the door, and she takes a deep breath as she watches him walk through. The smile on his face as he approaches her is enough to make her feel guilty…but this is for the best…that's what she's been telling herself all day. "Hey you…" he leans in the kiss her, just as he's done every other time he's come to see her, but this time she turns away. "Peyton…" he stands back up to his full height as she turns back to face him, the tears starting to well in her hazel eyes.

"We need to talk…" she focuses on the blanket wrapped around her body, because she can't seem to make herself meet his gaze.

"Peyton…don't do this…please don't do this…" his hand quickly finds her and he feels a little more hope when he feels her fingers wrap tightly around it.

"I'm sorry…but I just can't handle an us right now…" and just like that all hope he has is crushed and he doesn't fight it when she pulls her hand away.

If she was being honest she would have told him that she was running scared, but that wouldn't have sounded as good…granted she's positive that there's no way she could have phrased it that would have prevented the heartbroken look that's found its way onto his face.

"I thought we were okay…" it comes out as a whisper, but she hears his words clearly. There was no reason for him to think that they weren't okay…she had given him no indication that she was going to end things….but she couldn't deal with the fear of going back to school and facing any more torment from Brooke and Haley. She was supposed to be relaxing, and she had spent the last few days doing everything but that. If it wasn't her senior year she's sure she would've just taken the rest of the semester off, but it is her last year and she wants nothing more than to get as far away from Tree Hill as possible.

"I'm sorry Nate…" she's not naïve enough to think that her words are actually going to make him feel better, but she really is sorry about being weak. She knows this is going to cost her a friendship…a great and very cherished friendship…but even if it doesn't mend the two friendships she's already lost…and she knows it won't…she hopes that things will get better, at least a little better.

"Don't apologize…just…don't say anything…unless you wanna tell me this was all a joke…even though right now if feels likes this was all a joke, and by this…I mean our entire relationship. So unless you plan to take these last five minutes back…don't bother saying anything…"

"Nate…" he holds a hand up to silence her before shaking his head and turning around, walking out of the room without a single look back. She watches him go as a few tears out of her eyes…she didn't imagine it feeling this bad…she didn't think it would go over very well…but the sinking feeling in her stomach is something she hadn't anticipated, and she wonders if four days is long enough to get the feeling to ease.

-------------

As she looks out the window she has to admit that the weather reflects her mood and rainy. Two days later and she still feel like a heartless bitch for what she did and how she went about it. Maybe it would have been better to just tell him the truth…maybe it wouldn't have matter…maybe she should have sucked it up and smiled back when he entered the room, kissed him and told him she was happy to see him.

"Hey…" she turns toward the door and can't say she's happy to see her visitor.

"Didn't expect to see you here…" she turns her head toward the window…she'd turn her whole body if her stomach wasn't still sore.

"I'm sorry it took so long for me to get here…I should've come by sooner…" he takes a few tentative steps towards her bed, unsure of how close he should get.

"You shouldn't have come at all…" the bitterness in her voice is blatant and is enough warning to the older Scott that he needs to keep his distance.

"You're about as friendly as Nathan…" his statement catches her attention and she slowly turns back to face him. "I'm assuming you two broke up…considering he's been biting everyone's head off for the past few days."

"I thought you'd be jumping for joy…I'm not hurting anyone anymore…I thought you'd all be happy now…"

"You're hurting Nathan…" he cuts off her rant and watches as she glares in his direction.

"Where do you get off…" she scuffs as she rolls her eyes, shocked at his statement. "You spend weeks criticizing us and then you wanna chastise me for calling it off…you really have some nerve…" She waits for him to respond, but he does nothing but cast his eyes downward. "What…is everything I do wrong…I just screw everything up right…I'm nothing but a heartless whore…is that it Lucas…"

"I never said that…" he should have expected the backlash…he's not sure why he even mentioned his brother's behavior….not sure why he's concerned about this…Nathan and Peyton's business is their own.

"You never had to say it…it comes across in everything you do…more so…it's in everything that you don't do. Luke whether you physically help the two of them or not...by just standing there and watching it happen…you lose all rights to say anything about my behavior because by doing nothing you've said all you need to say." The tears are back in her eyes, but she's doing all she can to stop them from falling, she's tired of Lucas Scott making her cry.

"I can't stop them from doing those things…"

"You keep telling yourself that if it's what helps you sleep at night…" she cuts off his protest as she feels her stomach tighten…she'll make herself sick if she doesn't calm down…she doesn't need a doctor to tell her that.

"I don't agree with what they're doing…it's wrong…they're wrong…but so were you for going after Haley's husband. What did you think was gunna happen? I know you never expected Brooke to take Haley's said in all this so you never expected it to be this bad but…"

"This bad…you're damn right I never thought I would wind up in the hospital because your best friend decided she screwed up and then found out she couldn't take it back. But that wasn't my fault Lucas…you all can blame me for it all you want, but I didn't break up their marriage…Haley did that all on her own. I don't deserve this…" Nathan and Rachel had said it to her on numerous occasions but she had always just smiled in response…this was the first time the words were actually leaving her mouth.

"I never thought you did…" he watches and her and hopes that she'll turn to look him in the eye, just so she can see that how sincere he is.

"It was you…" she turns to face him, her lips slightly parted.

"What…" the intensity of her gaze stops him from looking away no matter how much he wants to.

"You IMed me that morning…you're the one that told me to turn my cam off…" she waits for him to say something…to laugh and tell her she's way off base but all he does is look to the floor.

"About that…" he bites his lip…she wasn't supposed to know it was him…no one was supposed to know he's the reason that little prank didn't go as planned.

"How many people saw that?" Her voice waivers and she's torn about whether she really wants the answer.

"Peyton…"

"How many?" her voice is stronger the second time around and she waits until Lucas looks at her before she bites her lips just as he had a few moments ago.

"Brooke and Haley sent a message to every guy on their lists…told them to tune in the next morning if they wanted a show…" He looked down when he finished speaking, unable to watch the first set of tears fall from her eyes.

"How stupid could I have been so stupid to think that Brooke would let things go so easily…" she shakes her head, her curls falling into her face. "She came over that evening and I honestly believed she was apologizing. I should know her better than that…I do know her better than that."

"Don't beat yourself up over it…" his hand unconsciously reaches for her, his fingers wrapping around her small hand and squeezing gently. She locks eyes with him at the sudden contact, and he pulls away once he realizes what he's done. He takes a step back as he mumbles an apology…he needs some extra space between them. She watches the clock as the minutes tick away, unsure of what to say. "I've missed you Peyton…"

"Don't say that…" she interjects before he has the chance to say any more.

"Why not…" he knows the underlying message that comes with his words…but he has missed her…missed their friendship and the conversations he was always able to have with her and no one else…not even Haley.

"You can't keep going back and forth…" the tears fall faster despite her attempt to stop them.

"What are you talking about…" there's a pain in her voice that he can't figure out…it's directed at him, but what he did he doesn't know.

"I was there that day…" she done her best to forget about that miserable day, but the lost look on his face tells her that she has to explain. "…in the house before Brooke left, when you told her you wanted to be with her…when you said you kept all those pictures to remind you of how badly you screwed everything up… to remind you of what a huge mistake you made. I stayed on the beach with you that night because I didn't wanna believe that you would say that about us, about me…part of me was hoping that by spending the night with you, you would somehow prove that you would never say those things, and you did do that, but then Brooke called me the next day and she started babbling, and then she let it slip, she repeated the exact words I heard you say. So no…you can't say something like that and then come in here and tell me that you miss me…it doesn't matter if it was a few months ago…it just doesn't work that way Lucas…and it's not fair"

"Peyton…" she was never supposed to hear him say that…he still can't believe that he said it…he can't believe a lot of things about himself these days and it all seems to start with that stupid comment he made…something he didn't actually mean. He doesn't know why he stays with Brooke…he's miserable…they both are, and he doesn't agree with anything she's doing. He doesn't know why he can't tell his best friend that she's wrong…why he can't stand up for the girl who doesn't deserve any of the hell she's being put through…why he spends day after day with the two people that are the cause of her pain.

"Don't Lucas, please…just…leave...please" the strain in her voice breaks her his heat. There so many things he wants to say to her…so many apologies that need to be made…but the look on her face tell her that the only thing she wants from him is his departure…so he turns around and walk back out of the room, because he can say without a doubt that he at least owes her that much.


End file.
